


Where Do You Go When You're Lonely?

by Vadianna



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Canon-Typical Violence, Come Eating, Drinking, Facial, False Identity, M/M, Sniper Hux, canon-typical First Order politics, collaborative mission, kylo ren is dirty and smells bad, unexpectedly soft despite those tags
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-06
Updated: 2020-09-03
Packaged: 2021-03-04 17:31:17
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 29,311
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25100161
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Vadianna/pseuds/Vadianna
Summary: Fresh off a grueling undercover mission on an unpleasant Outer Rim planet, Kylo Ren wants to eat, drink, and sleep. Unfortunately, Hux is sitting at the only bar in the area. Thinking that Hux is there to brief him, Kylo soon realizes that Hux is off-duty, and has also never seen him without his helmet on.Things escalate, and the two wind up finishing Kylo's mission together as they both get to know each other.
Relationships: Armitage Hux/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren, Armitage Hux/Kylo Ren
Comments: 105
Kudos: 368





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> My attempt at the sniper!Hux and "Hux vs. Kylo Ren's face under the helmet" tropes. This was written for last year's [kyluxxoxo event](http://kyluxxoxo.tumblr.com), specifically the [Week 2 - Summer Job card](https://kyluxxoxo.tumblr.com/post/186181122265/summer-fest-board-2-summer-job). The tic-tac-toe is "work-shot-perfect," but this fic will eventually tic most of the boxes on the card, and some of the ones on the [Week 1 card](https://kyluxxoxo.tumblr.com/post/186023115200/kyluxxoxo-summer), when I was trying to brainstorm a fic for the event.
> 
> I wrote the whole thing and never posted it, so it's either hilariously late for kyluxxoxo, or on time for the wild card prompt of [Kylux Positivity Week](https://kyluxpositivity.tumblr.com/), which was what made me dig this out and edit it.

Kylo was on a bug-infested sulfur-smelling swamp planet in the outer rim he couldn’t give less of a shit about, the evening was unbearably hot and humid, and he’d just come off nearly five days of the worst kind of mission. _Control_. _Finesse_. Fuck that. 

He hadn’t slept in seventy-two standard hours, which was a standard day cycle on the planet of Tafali, the asshole of the galaxy. He needed to eat, drink, and sleep, in that order. To that end, he was walking down what passed for the main street in the settlement of Darris, little more than a supply depot for the Pission stronghold the Order was attempting to take. The Order had destroyed anything useful in the settlement months ago, and better transportation facilities had been constructed closer to the stronghold, so Darris had been forgotten by all. But there were many locals sympathetic to the rebels that drifted through from the Lenil Capital transports, so most Order personnel stayed away. Kylo would be able to sense if someone identified him as an outsider, but in his experience, the kind of person that wound up in places like Darris didn’t care enough to look closely. 

It helped that the native population of Tafali was human, though they tended to be a lot smaller than average. That did make Kylo stand out, something he’d been dealing with all week. He should have been wary, but he was too exhausted. His arrival on planet and to this area had been via public civilian transportation, all of which was strained and poor due to the ongoing war. It meant the Order tactics were working, but the locals hadn’t given up the fight yet. That tenacity was why Kylo was here. The public trip had been necessary for him to learn about the Tafalians outside the (often clueless) First Order reports, but it had ended with a miserable hike through the jungle in the middle of the night to the Order camps, and things had only gotten worse from there.

Darris's main street was unpaved, and Kylo’s boots sank and sucked against several centimetres of the clay-like blue mud that stretched from the edge of the jungle to the remnants of a tiny landspeeder port. Half a dozen ramshackle buildings leaned over either side of the narrow street amid the blackened craters and skeletons of other destroyed structures. The street was currently occupied by himself and two saddled green boga lizards that were copulating. Lucky them. As the sun mercifully sank, the temperature had dropped from solar surface to intolerable, and in another few hours, it might be cool enough to sleep.

The settlement contained one shitty bar, which he’d spotted when he’d arrived on the Lenil transports earlier in the week. As far as he could tell, the bar was the only public building in the area that hadn’t been destroyed by the ongoing conflict. He was determined to get himself watery beer and an enormous meal that he would likely regret, if it didn’t outright kill him. He might also talk to someone, outside the context of carefully stripping them of their free will with the Force. That would be nice.

The sign on the building was in the local language, but he’d seen enough run-down drinking holes in the galaxy to know one on sight. His stride didn’t slow as he shifted the pack with his armor on his shoulder, and casually pushed his hair out of his face. He needed a ‘fresher badly, but he was sure he didn’t smell as bad as the jungle, and the local rebel scum probably wouldn’t notice. He passed through the open entrance like he’d done it a thousand times, confidence being the best way to blend in.

The effort was wasted, as there was barely anyone inside. Kylo had no idea what kind of schedule a planet like this had when it wasn’t embroiled in a war - sunset should mean the place was full, but it wasn’t. He glanced around as he approached the bar. There were a couple of the usual aging spacer alcoholics, a drunk group that were obviously local rebels-

And some guy at the bar, looking dramatically out of place. Tall, obviously not a local, his long legs resting with feet flat on the floor at the tall stool. Loose blonde hair, rail-thin, pale, back straight like he had a stick up his ass, fatigues that were too clean to belong to a real soldier. He was by himself, and had some peashooter pistol as a service weapon that would do him zero good in a real battle. Not Tafalian, but Kylo had a hard time believing anyone in the Order would blend in so poorly, or be unattended in a war zone. His boots were _shined_ , and he looked like he was fresh from some training program. Young, but not young enough to be quite this stupid. He had small hands with narrow fingers wrapped around a dirty glass, and a strong profile, with high cheekbones and a bit of hair drifting into his eyes. He was obviously trying to go for an unshaven look, but his beard was too light and he’d probably been clean-shaven two standard cycles ago.

He was pretty, and completely out of his depth. On a better day, Kylo would pick this guy up and absolutely _wreck_ him. This was exactly how he liked to unwind after a mission. But he was too tired to do anything but talk today, and he was sure this toy soldier would probably want nothing to do with him. But his other options were to sit by himself, which he’d had enough of, or talk to the spacer burnouts or the rebels. 

Well. He could probably get in one drink and order his food before the guy told him to fuck off.

He slung his pack noisily to the floor and hoisted himself onto the chipped stool next to the soldier. He made a motion to the bartender, who ignored him, then turned and smirked at the other man, who hadn’t turned to look at him.

“They let you out by yourself?”

Kylo watched the man tense, obviously annoyed by the question. He finally turned to face Kylo, scowling. “What does that mean?”

Kylo had a moment to register the man’s striking green eyes before his gaze dropped to the scowl, which he recognized immediately. Even if he hadn't, the sound of the man's voice drove his identity home in the worst possible way.

Kylo reared back as if slapped, his mood and patience for this plummeting to rock bottom. “What the fuck are _you_ doing here?”

Shit. _Shit_. It wasn’t some blonde new recruit soldier that had gotten lost. It was Hux, Major Armitage Hux, one of his Officer liaisons on the _Finalizer_ , and one of the head officers in the Stormtrooper training program. He was a pain in Kylo’s ass, constantly riding him about proper procedure, teamwork, and other things that Kylo could not be bothered to pay attention to. Aside from being annoying, Kylo also knew he was opportunistic, selfish, and ambitious. He was also extremely unpopular with absolutely everyone.

As far as Kylo knew, Hux rarely stirred himself from the training area on C deck. He’d never even heard of Hux going planetside. On the contrary - he’d heard people mock him for never leaving the ship, and preferring to use his leave time for scheming, sabotage, power grabs, and whatever other petty things the officers said about one another. Hux always got the worst of it. In some ways, that was impressive, because most of the Officers were unlikable, as far as Kylo could tell. But Hux was bad at hiding what he was, and how much he hated everybody else, in a way that the other successful officers were not. 

Hux certainly wasn’t here to fight in the fucking war, so he had to be here for Kylo. And Kylo had made it easy for him.

Hux’s scowl deepened, and he seemed more openly annoyed than he usually bothered to show Kylo. “What’s wrong with you? I’m having a fucking drink, what does it look like I’m doing here?”

Kylo blinked, his temper warring with his confusion. He should knock Hux to the floor, leave him with the Rebels for even trying something like this, for rolling in here like there wasn’t a fucking war on, and Kylo hadn’t just… _fuck_. 

Why didn’t he just send a comm? It didn’t make sense, and that was the only thing keeping him from lashing out immediately. “On Tafali? In _Darris_? I know you’re having a fucking drink, why are you doing it _here_? How did you even get here?” How had he known Kylo would come back to Darris? Why wasn’t he waiting on the base, like any sane person would do, and assume Kylo would go back there once his mission was complete? _No one_ came to Darris, it was a shithole. Had Hux taken the public transport looking like that?

There was no way. He would have been murdered unceremoniously. The Tafalians had no love for members of the Order, and he would have certainly been taken by vigilantes. But Kylo was having an equally difficult time picturing one of the shiny Order landspeeders pulling into the settlement and leaving the self-important teela grub.

Hux gave him a hard look. One of the more annoying things about Hux was the way he controlled his expression, no matter what was happening. His permanent straight face always made him look disappointed with whoever he was speaking to, and Kylo found himself having to press hard to see what Hux was actually feeling - which was generally exactly what Kylo expected. Contempt. He seemed to genuinely give a shit about the small stuff he was always bringing to Kylo, about not signing off on Trooper actions, going off books, going against the training. Kylo rarely paid attention. He did love winding Hux up, because it was easy and Hux deserved it, but also because Hux would continue to appear disappointed even when murderously furious. He knew Hux kept a monomolecular blade up his sleeve, and he’d tried more than once to provoke him into using it. Hux never had, apparently he had self-control that went with his expression. But Kylo knew Hux hated him, which was fine.

Here and now, Hux wasn’t bothering to control his expression for some reason, and his thoughts were plain on his face. Kylo was too exhausted to press with the Force, so it was helpful, but he found that the loss of Hux’s mask was catching him strangely off-guard. The pinch of Hux’s brows and his searching stare gave away… confusion? His eyes were slightly unfocused, he had two spots of color high on his cheeks, and he also smelled like he’d started drinking long before the sun started going down. Some part of Kylo was impressed by that - it was usually impossible to get drunk in a place like this, but obviously Hux was trying hard. Maybe he’d brought something with him, too.

After a moment, Hux’s confusion settled into wariness, and he turned back to face the bar. “What are any of us doing here?” Hux replied, taking the last swallows of his drink. Kylo watched his throat working, vaguely impressed at catching Hux at something human, like drinking. “There’s a war happening less than three klicks away. I’m probably doing the same thing you are, and got here the same way.”

Kylo stared at him, incredulous. Did that mean he had taken the public transport? Looking like that? Was he suicidal? “You’re not doing the same thing as me, and you know it. You’re definitely not fighting over by the Pisson stronghold. You’ve probably never seen a fight in your life.”

Hux turned back, raising his brows, looking more interested and less annoyed than Kylo would have thought. Digs at his capability reliably set him off. “Really? You seem very sure of that.”

“Sure of what? That you’re not fighting on the front lines? I’m fucking positive,” Kylo snapped, still confused and wishing Hux would get to the point. “I’m also positive you’ve never seen a war up close. Come on. Your fatigues are unused. And when was the last time you’ve seen a sun through atmosphere? Did you step off the ship twenty minutes ago?”

At that, Hux flushed and turned away again, looking more annoyed. “Fuck off and find a shower, you animal. I’m on leave. At least I don’t have to put up with this when I’m on shift.”

At that he glanced at Kylo, frowning, confused again, then looked away.

Fuck off? At that, Kylo did lean back. Why would Hux be telling Kylo to fuck off? And Kylo said things like this to Hux's face all the time. What was he talking about, that he didn’t have to put up with it on shift?

Kylo’s thoughts ground to a halt. “Wait. On shift? You’re on _leave?_ ”

Just then, the bartender decided to take Kylo’s drink and food order, and Kylo got his warm beer immediately. It did indeed taste like piss, but Kylo made a mental note that his earlier assessment was right - he didn’t even _get_ the drink before the blonde told him to fuck off. Well. Not blonde. Hux had distinctively red hair that was much more striking when it was combed back with product. Without, it was both lighter and longer than Kylo expected, and he noticed now that it was reddish when Hux tipped his head a certain way, catching the weak overhead light that was struggling against the darkness of the windowless, stuffy room.

Kylo stared as Hux drained off half his beer. Hux was pointedly ignoring him now, which was new, and seething with barely restrained annoyance, which was not. Kylo waited a long moment for some reprimand from Hux, some warning about Kylo directing the Troops on Gessel, which he wasn’t even doing. There really wasn’t any reason for Hux to be speaking to him about this mission. At all, since it was a clandestine solo job, but especially planetside. But several minutes passed, and Hux said nothing. Kylo just stared. After Hux finally finished his drink, he turned back, frowning at Kylo again.

“Take a holo. It lasts longer.”

Kylo was the one who turned away and flushed, caught off-guard. He took a drink of his own beer to cover his embarrassment, chastising himself. He stared at people in bars all the time. He stared a lot, period, but he was usually wearing a helmet, and he was Kylo Ren, so it passed without comment. Just because Hux could see him do it now didn’t make it embarrassing. 

He found his temper rising again. He didn’t have to take any humiliation from Hux, and he still didn’t know what Hux was doing here, supposedly on leave, if not trying to find Kylo. The mission had made him crave company and conversation, but the idea of spending another moment with Hux was supremely unappealing. 

Still, Hux was here, wasn’t leaving, and Kylo’s food hadn’t come out yet. He glanced around again, blinking, then rolled his shoulders. The mission had been… nearly unbearable. He was dead on his feet, and tense. Conversation was a good idea, and forcing away the solitude and acting like a human being again was what he needed. And while he could probably pass well enough with the local insurgents not to get himself killed, he’d rather just… not pass as an insurgent, just now. He could try to get a rise out of the spacers, who were probably about as fried as he was, or he could talk to Hux.

He turned back to Hux, decided. Hux just looked… different, too different than what Kylo knew of him, and maybe he would be tolerable company for just a bit longer. At least, until he finally revealed what he was doing here. Kylo would have to deal with that, whether he stopped talking to Hux or not, so he might as well antagonize him and have fun longer. Or make him get to the fucking point. 

“What are you doing in Darris on leave?” he tried, telling himself to stay as neutral as possible.

“That seems obvious. I’m having a drink.”

There was something wrong with Hux’s accent. It was subtle, and Hux wasn’t saying much, but Kylo finally pinned it down. It was rougher, more Rimmer than polished Imperial. Kylo kind of liked it. It made Hux sound tougher than he was, and went with the whole babyfaced soldier look. 

Which… was irrelevant now, Hux’s looks. Kylo quickly dismissed the thought.

“The First Order has a lot of leave routes. You can get better drinks on most of them.”

“Be quiet,” Hux hissed, hunching his shoulders and turning to look at him, red-faced and furious. His eyes quickly darted over Kylo’s shoulder, and Kylo turned to regard the local rebel unit, shouting and laughing in the corner of the bar, their conversation echoing in the empty space and difficult to ignore.

“What, them?” He turned back, confused. “What about them? Are you afraid of them?”

He smirked, expecting Hux to get annoyed at the suggestion. Instead, Kylo noticed he was still flushed, and had a wary expression on his face. He was subtly leaning away from Kylo now, and one hand had dropped to his lap, closer to his weapon. “How did you know I was with the Order?” Hux asked, hissing the question, eyes locked on Kylo’s.

Kylo blinked at him, confused. “What the fuck? We-”

And then he stopped himself, realizing what was wrong with the situation. Hux wasn’t lying, or trying to trick him, or even waiting to spring something repellent on him. 

It took him a moment to remember the last time they’d spoken. Eight or nine standard cycles ago, not long before Kylo had left on his mission. But Hux. He. 

He.

 _Hux had never seen him without his helmet on_. Hux had never heard him without the vocoder in his helmet. Hux, cloistered on C Deck, had never seen him come and go from his training with Supreme Leader Snoke, or from his missions, and must have no idea what his face looked like. His confusion at Kylo’s approach was genuine. He had no idea who Kylo was.

Kylo couldn’t help the smile that crept across his face. Oh, fucking _perfect_. That was different. That was more _fun_.

He shifted closer to affect a more casual posture, leaning in closer to Hux, pitching his voice lower. “Ah. I got ahead of myself. I thought you realized we were on the same side. I could tell by looking. You’re not local, that’s obvious.”

“How is it obvious?”

Kylo’s smile grew wider. “You really don’t know, do you? Your accent isn’t anything like Tafalian. Any of the rebels out here are dressed like me and them,” he gestured over to the tattered, filthy group of soldiers, “-and not like you. You look like you stepped off a Star Destroyer this morning. Like you’re pretending to be a soldier. And your clothes are off-duty Order issue.”

“Fine, just _shut up_ ,” Hux said, voice low enough to match Kylo’s, his face flushed red again. He turned back to his drink, gripping it with both hands, glowering. Kylo could sense his humiliation now, even without trying.

Hux’s ego was fragile, and Kylo turned back to his drink, smirking. That had been satisfying, but it would be enough to drive Hux away, and he should have paced himself with his insults to draw this out. He waited for Hux to grab his neat pack and storm out, but was surprised when he didn’t. Hux swallowed his beer and glowered at the bartop, but didn’t leave. Kylo waited, watching him out of the corner of his eye. He didn’t turn back to Kylo, and seemed to be rapidly alternating between fury and embarrassment. 

Kylo waited, but Hux didn’t leave, and instead ordered another drink. Kylo hid his satisfied smirk by finishing his own, then decided to try again at being the annoying stranger, leaning in again as Hux sipped his glass.

“You didn’t answer my question. There’s transports to a lot of places that aren’t Tafali. Canto Bight. Carri Bel. Kizzin. How did you wind up here? And in Darris, of all fucking places, not even Lennil Capital. You’re on leave, you’re not stationed at the base.”

“It was as far away from my ship as I could get.” Hux’s tone was sharp, and he faced forward, not looking at Kylo.

Kylo blinked again, surprised. “You hate your ship that much?”

Hux shifted, hunching further over the bar and his empty glass. Kylo was surprised to see he could bend that far, and had to bite back a joke about the stick up his ass. 

“Well. I’m on leave. I’d rather not think about it.”

This took Kylo off-guard. It didn’t fit with what Kylo knew of Hux, nor with the rumors about him. He gave the impression of being tireless and devoted to his job, and the power it gave him. Kylo could always sense the thinly-veiled ambition that clung to Hux like a second skin. But his usual sneering confidence, contempt, and self-assurance were gone. And why was he escaping _here_? This place was awful.

“I also didn’t want to be recognized,” he muttered, almost too quietly for Kylo to hear, his eyes darting over. “Is that why you’re talking to me? Because of the holos?”

Ah. There was that, too. Hux was in all the Trooper training material, and a lot of the daily props. He _would_ be recognized.

Though, as Kylo took in the slight red sunburn on his ears and the back of his neck, his loose hair, the fact that he obviously padded his uniform through the chest and shoulders, and the defensive slump of his shoulders, he thought that Hux might be harder to recognize than he believed. Out of uniform, he looked smaller and more vulnerable. And, if Kylo was honest with himself, kind of hot. Hux usually had the whole fanatic thing going that made it embarrassing to look at him. But like this? The toy soldier look was good on him.

“Nah, I don’t pay attention to that shit. And I’d remember if we met, trust me.” Kylo shifted his stool closer to Hux. “I take it you’re an officer. Do you have a bad history with banging your subordinates?”

They were interrupted by the arrival of Kylo’s food, and fresh drinks for both of them, though Hux’s was still nearly full. The food was as he expected - small nuggets of meat fried in breading. Its natural shape seemed to be corkscrews. The plate contained a heap of these, steaming and dripping with grease, and nothing else. Kylo burned his fingers and his mouth as he started swallowing them nearly whole. He was ravenous, and it was best he wasn’t able to taste anything. They had a rubbery, hard-to-chew texture, so swallowing was best.

Hux looked appalled, and Kylo nudged the plate toward him, mock-offering a bite. He grinned through a mouthful, then continued shoveling them down, not caring that his hands were dirty or that he probably did look like one of the beloved refugees that Hux drafted into his trooper program. 

They sat in silence, Hux watching him for several minutes and nursing his drink, but still not standing to leave. He was surprised when Hux broke the silence to continue their conversation.

“Well. Let’s say that there have been too many incidents with other members of the organization.” 

Kylo turned to him, startled by the comment. Incidents? By other people? By Hux? Sex things, or incidents where rivals turned up dead? From what Kylo knew of First Order officers, any of that could be a problem. 

Hux buried the admission behind a long swallow of his drink. Kylo watched his throat again, then looked away when he realized he was doing it. He forced his mind back to the ‘incidents.’ 

“Incidents, like, hookups that go bad?” he tried, hoping it sounded suitably casual. “With officers? Radar technicians? Troopers? The troopers are a lot of fun, once you get to know them.” 

Hux looked surprised. “You fraternize with troopers?”

“Yeah, why not? No offense, but they actually celebrate at the end of missions. And they’re way less uptight than the officers.”

“That’s a rather broad generalization.”

“What, for the officers?” Kylo said through a mouthful of food, then swallowed. “Are you going to tell me that you’re a fun-loving guy when your on the clock? Your coworkers love you? Would your subordinates die for you?”

“Fuck you,” Hux answered automatically, turning away. Kylo knew he had struck a nerve, though he hadn’t expected Hux to be sensitive about how others perceived him - he assumed Hux was well aware of what everyone thought. But Hux still wasn’t exactly angry, and still hadn’t gotten up to leave or otherwise discouraged Kylo.

Hux like this was… not fanatical. Maybe a little less certain, and a little more defensive. _Fun_. Somehow, his vicious thirst for vengeance and power, his hunger for more, had fallen away. He was just a person. Kylo wanted to see how far he could take this whole “random encounter in a bar” act before Hux figured him out. Hux was a bad enemy to have, from what Kylo understood, but what could he really do to Kylo?

Kylo pushed, seeing how much of himself Hux was willing to give a stranger. “Are you anyone I would know?”

Hux turned back, leaning in and studying his face slightly more intently than necessary. “No,” he said eventually. “Let’s say you wouldn’t.”

Kylo grinned again, dragging his gaze up and down Hux’s body in an obvious show of appreciation. “I’d definitely remember you if we’d met.”

Hux frowned, his eyes wandering up and down Kylo, obviously returning some of his interest. “Do I know you?”

Kylo considered coming out with the truth, ending the little show right then. But instead he smiled. “No. But I’m Ben.”

Hux narrowed his eyes, seeming to consider this. “ _Ben_ ,” he said, and the emphasis he gave the name made Kylo think he’d figured out who he really was. He turned and went back to eating, trying not to laugh. 

Hux paused, then let the tense moment pass. “All right, Ben. I’m Armitage.” His eyes darted over Kylo’s shoulder, then back to his face, running his gaze up and down, now with marginally more heat. “I suppose we must be on the same side.”

Kylo looked at the group of drunken rebels again. “Don’t worry about them. But yeah, we are.”

“You don’t seem…” Hux gestured, indicating all of Kylo. “Regulation. Your accent’s wrong.”

Kylo had to stuff a mouthful of the scalding meat in his mouth to keep from laughing. Hux berated him for this constantly. He didn’t speak precisely. That he needed to give up the Core in his speech, since he sounded like the enemy. Kylo waited a moment to see if Hux would continue the thought. 

When he didn’t, Kylo swallowed and answered him. “I’m not regulation.” He shoved the last of his food in his mouth, feeling relaxed and sated in a way that had eluded him all week. He was still exhausted, and needed sleep badly, but this was too much fun. He wanted to continue this, for what it was worth. He waved at the bartender, beginning the slow process of getting himself another plate of food and both of them more drinks. “I’m here for the war. Not taking a vacation next to one.”

Hux seemed to wither at this, turning back to the bar in a huff. Kylo waited, wondering if that had been too far - was Hux sensitive about war zones now? Hard to tell with him. But he was surprised when Hux continued the conversation, just as the bartender served their drinks.

“It won’t be a war zone for much longer. I heard Tarran Yessil surrendered, and that his top advisers sacrificed themselves in shame.”

The reminder of the rebel leader nearly wrecked his good mood. He should have known Hux could do that, even without knowing who he was.

“Amazing,” Kylo said in a flat voice. “We’ve only been here for eight months, and then a miracle happened.”

Hux frowned. “You know something about that. What are you? You don’t look like a trooper, and you’re not an officer.”

“What? You know all the officers personally?”

“No. But no officer would let themselves go like you have.” 

“Let myself go?” Kylo was amused, and the distraction lifted his mood again. “You can say I’m too dirty to fuck, I don’t mind.”

Unexpectedly, Hux reddened at the direct innuendo. Kylo secretly filed the mental image away - Hux _blushing_ , not merely angry or embarrassed. “Of course you are,” Hux snapped defensively. “You smell like you haven’t cleaned yourself in a week.”

Oh, his little evasion was perfect. Kylo could not stop grinning. “I haven’t bathed in a week, no.” He shrugged, unoffended, his bad mood and fatigue nearly forgotten. “I’ve been winning a war.”

“Are you Black Ops, then?”

“You could say that.”

Hux looked him over again, more considering. “You look like Black Ops.”

“Do I?” Kylo was nearly charmed. He and Hux had never spoken this way. Kylo rarely spoke to anyone this way, though Ben had, in a different life. His usual post-mission carousing was always about other people, never himself. He was an expert at making others open up. This was more direct somehow, but he could handle it.

“Yes.” Hux nodded, his hair sliding further forward into his eyes. He looked so different, so _young_. He gestured to Kylo’s chest and arms. “No officer is in the kind of shape you’re in. And Troopers aren’t fed enough.”

“Am I well-fed? Not a waste of resources?”

“A waste of resources?” Hux looked confused, and began looking Kylo up and down once again. It was something that Hux had insulted him with more than once. He wondered how often Hux said it. 

“So,” Kylo said, after waiting a moment to see if Hux would make the connection. “You were saying that you liked my body.”

“I was not,” Hux said emphatically, turning away again. “I’m stationed on a training vessel. I just don’t see active field agents often.”

“You don’t? Are you sure?”

Hux turned back, raising his eyebrows. “Are there Black Ops spies on my ship?”

Kylo grinned. “You never know what’s hiding under a helmet.”

“Of course I do, I know every-” Hux trailed off, and his expression grew puzzled again. 

Kylo continued, not giving him time to think this time. That hint was too easy. “A training vessel? Which one?”

“Classified. You know I can’t tell you that.”

Kylo didn’t know that, because he’d never bothered to ask before. He’d always known where anyone was stationed, and had clearance to look it up if he didn’t. But he pretended he was trying to bend the rules. “Come on. I’m obviously with the Order.”

“I don't know that for certain. Or you could be from the Internal Security Bureau. I don’t interact with them often, either.”

“Of course you don’t, you’re a good soldier.” Kylo took another swallow of his drink, feeling himself growing more relaxed, his eyes getting heavier. He wouldn’t get drunk off beer this weak, but it might put him to sleep in the chair after the week he had. “I’m on the _Windiate_ , by the way.”

“I assumed. It’s the one orbiting the planet and fighting the war.”

“Not very well,” Kylo muttered.

Hux looked surprised. “We won, didn’t we?”

“Yeah, we did.”

Hux continued to stare at him, frowning. “But…?”

“Come on!” Kylo turned toward him, his temper back. “It took them eight months, and even then, they didn’t win until-” Kylo stopped himself. Hux didn’t need to know what he’d done, how long it had taken, how much _control_ he’d needed for it. “Until I helped,” he finished, turning away and glowering at the bar. He hated his mood had soured so quickly. Maybe he was too tired for this.

They sat in silence for a moment, long enough that Kylo thought that Hux would end this and go wherever he thought he could get a room, which was nowhere. 

Which reminded him. “Where are you staying?”

“None of your business,” Hux returned shortly, turning away from him. He’d been staring at Kylo again, and Kylo had caught him at it.

Kylo stared pointedly down at Hux’s kit bag, which was on the filthy floor. It was very obviously more clean and pristine than the sack Kylo’s armor was in, which was splitting its edges and muddy.

“You’re right. But you know there’s only two transports a day back to Lennil Capital, and there aren’t any places to stay here. There probably aren’t twenty people living here.”

Hux spun around in his chair. “What do you mean? The entire army is garrisoned here. There has to be accommodations.”

“I mean…” Kylo waved vaguely out to the jungle. “There’s the base, and there are encampments. But that’s the front line. I doubt they let off-duty training officers stay in the tents with them. Unless you put out.”

Hux ignored him. “But the troopers and officers have to go somewhere!”

Kylo shrugged. “This settlement’s pretty useless. They’re taken by transport back to the main city for off-duty shifts.”

Hux opened his mouth, then closed it again. Kylo’s good mood crept back, just in time for the second plate of meat nuggets to arrive. Kylo found that just the smell made his mouth water again. He quickly popped one of the pieces into his mouth. It seared what was left of his tastebuds away and was almost too tough to chew. 

He dug in. It was one of the best meals he’d ever had.

Hux watched him, not bothering to hide his revulsion this time. “What are you doing?”

“Eating.”

“You’re not eating. You’re savaging that plate.”

“If you wanted some, you should have ordered your own.”

“Let me guess. You also haven’t eaten in five days.”

“Just…” Kylo waved vaguely, chewing and swallowing his scorching mouthful of mystery meat. “What I could find.”

Hux looked disgusted. “What about your rations?”

“I ate them the first day.”

“All of them?”

“As you said, I’m a waste of resources.”

Hux was silent for several more minutes as Kylo ate. He didn’t speak again until Kylo was slowing down, nearly finished with the second helping.

“So you just… what, hunted and ate in the jungle? Like a primitive?”

Kylo looked over at him, annoyed. “We get briefed on what’s edible before we deploy. And yeah, if I can get meat, I get it. Don’t you train soldiers in survival techniques?”

“How did you know that?” Hux answered sharply, suspicious.

Kylo paused, not looking at him. He could admit the truth now and leave, and that would be enough. It should be. But he still didn’t want to. Maybe that was a red flag, but he pushed that particular thought away. 

“Lucky guess. You seem very by the book. Trainers are like that.”

Hux was silent, but Kylo could tell he was accepting the evasion. “Yes, my clothes. Are you ever going to let that drop?”

“I would love for you to drop your clothes.”

Hux rolled his eyes, taking another drink. “You’re pathetic.”

“You’re still talking to me.”

“I shouldn’t be. You devoured two heaping portions of meat like a pet canid.” He paused, staring at Kylo’s plate. “And yes, I train Troopers on survival, but I don’t expect them to actually eat tree fruit while on missions.”

Kylo stared at his now-empty plate, licking his filthy finger and tracing the last few crumbs of breading. He debated picking it up and licking it to disgust Hux, but he didn’t think it was clean enough.

Eventually, he shrugged. “Sometimes I eat tree fruit.” He turned. “I guess you haven’t. When was the last time you were planetside before this?”

Hux looked indignant. “Please. I had my field specialization, just like everyone else.”

“Really?” Kylo brightened, eager to hear about this.

“Of course.” Hux looked suspicious. “You didn’t go through the academy.”

Kylo frowned, trying to remember his way around this. He rarely paid attention to how exactly recruits and refugees were processed through the First Order system. “No,” he said carefully. “I came from the Core. I just had…” he struggled to remember this. “The basic courses.” He knew everyone had the conditioning brainwashing that he was pretty sure Hux designed, but he couldn’t recall what else.

Hux looked suspicious. “You sound like you’re from the core.”

“Yeah, well. Sometimes things don’t work out.” That was perhaps more true than he would have liked. “But you had a field specialization, and were deployed to learn that?”

“Of course. Mine was marksmanship.”

“Really? You can shoot?”

Hux looked even more offended. “Of course. What did you think it was?”

He knew exactly what Hux did, and it wasn’t shooting. “You said you were a trainer. I figured you for an indoor type.”

“Well, I’m not you,” Hux muttered, looking him over. Kylo noticed that his annoyance was turning more and more into avarace as Hux’s gaze lingered on his bare shoulders, then his thighs. Kylo shifted, and Hux’s eyes snapped back to his face. “But yes. I’m an excellent marksman. It helps." Kylo let that pass, but was dying to know how it helped Hux in the training program in any positive or productive way. "My ground training involved sniper missions.”

Kylo was genuinely surprised. “Were you actually a sniper, or just support?"

Hux's expression grew more intent. "I was the sniper."

Kylo smirked, not wanting to feed his ego too much. "Didn't that involve a lot of camping out and eating tree fruit?”

“I had rations,” Hux hissed. “It was fine.”

Kylo thinned his lips, telling himself to drop it, telling himself to laugh in Hux's face and walk away. But he was too curious now. “Were you good?”

“I was the best,” Hux said emphatically, looking more confident than he had since Kylo had spotted him here. “I had a one hundred percent success rate.”

“How many missions?”

“Fifteen.”

“Fifteen, really?”

Hux frowned. “Why are you so surprised?”

Kylo tipped his head to the side. “I told you, you don’t seem the type.” He waved this away, quickly changing the topic. “If you were so good, why aren’t you still a sniper?”

“Because I had a position prepared for me in the training program.”

“I’m sure.” Kylo hid his smirk by taking another drink. He wondered if Hux was exaggerating. It wasn’t hard to believe that he could handle a rifle - he assumed everyone in the Order could - and Kylo could picture a little Hux drilling himself in marksmanship until he could nail perfect shots.

But Hux agreeing to more than a requisite two or three ground missions? He already had a red stripe across the bridge of his nose and high on his cheeks from being out in the sun today. Hux seemed like he would melt if he was outdoors for too long.

They ordered more drinks, and Hux told a tiresome story about how he’d had to stay out overnight with two troopers to wait for a shot. He’d taken it, and hit. By the end, Kylo regretted engaging him, was feeling his drinks, and was growing too tired to continue… whatever this was.

“Well, that’s nice that you killed that man, Armitage, very impressive.”

Hux scowled at him. “Well, I’m not Black Ops, no, but it was a decorated mission at the time.”

Kylo was slumped on the bar, leaning on one arm, closer to Hux. He was falling asleep, and feeling cruel. “And when did you go planetside again, after your fifteen sniper missions?”

Hux opened his mouth, then shut it again, looking away. Kylo was taken aback.

“What, is it some secret? It’s simple. When was the last time you took leave?”

“I don’t,” Hux snapped defensively. “Sometimes I take days off and go to the lounge, or the physical suites, or stay in my rooms. I don’t go planetside.”

“Please.” Kylo rolled his eyes. “You were sitting in a seedy bar in the middle of nowhere, practically begging to be picked up.”

“And if I was?” Hux said defiantly, leaning in toward Kylo.

His eyes were locked with Kylo’s, and he was close enough that Kylo could smell beer and something else on his breath, probably something he’d brought with him for the transport ride. Hux blinked slowly, and all of Kylo’s thoughts stopped, including the ones he’d been hiding from himself as he drew this conversation out longer and longer and told himself it was to make fun of Hux.

“I was,” Hux repeated. “Waiting for someone to pick me up in a bar. I assumed that was you.”

And that, really, was all it took. Kylo kissed him, because what else could he do? He’d come in here planning to flirt with the cute fake soldier, hadn’t he? He emphatically didn’t actually want to do this with Hux, Armitage Hux, who constantly accused him of endangering Trooper lives, as if taking people out into a battle was anything else.

Even so. Hux made a noise as he opened his mouth and began exploring with his tongue, and much of the tension melted from his frame as Kylo’s hands reached out to span his waist. He was so small like this. The uniform gave him so much.

When they stopped, Kylo couldn’t look at him. He leaned his forehead against his shoulder, holding him, feeling exhausted, not really wanting to think about what he was doing. He just wanted to feel good.

“Come to bed with me,” he said. He’d meant it to sound seductive, to sound like he was in control. It didn’t sound like that at all.

Hux didn’t seem to notice. “Let me fuck you?” It came out a question. It probably wasn’t meant to.

“Yes.” Kylo sat up, still not looking at him, waving his hand at the bartender and picking his bag up off the floor. He froze, then turned to watch Hux get up unsteadily from the stool, trying to wave the confused bartender over.

“It’s fine,” Kylo said, grabbing his fingers and pulling him toward the door. Hux was less steady on his feet, and slower on the uptake.

“We need to pay,” he insisted, pulling back and pointing to the bartender.

Kylo had forgotten this, so used to his Force mind tricks. Stealing was second nature to him. He didn’t want Hux to know.

“It’s going on my tab,” which was almost true. He nodded at the bartender, who still looked baffled, as Hux hoisted his bag from the floor and followed Kylo out the door.

He nearly jumped when one of the group near the door whistled at him. “Tried hard enough, didn’t you?”

“I had a bet, man. Not cool.”

Kylo grinned at them. Hux froze in his tracks, looking frightened, and Kylo pulled him in closer, running his fingers through his hair.

 _Stars_. It was so soft, and he resisted the urge to bury his face in it.

“Worth it.”

The group cheered, and Kylo grinned at them, pulling Hux out after him into the night and the sucking mud of the main street. The boga lizards were gone, though at least one of them had left their distinctive-smelling shit behind. Kylo wrinkled his nose and avoided it.

“What was that?” Hux demanded, pointing toward the dimly-lit entryway to the bar.

Kylo glanced back, still making his way to the treeline. “They were rooting for us.”

“ _They were rebels._ ”

“Good thing you weren’t wearing your uniform.”

Hux yanked his hand from Kylo’s and stopped. Kylo turned back around, frustrated. “Are we doing this, or not?”

“I’m sick of you making fun of me,” Hux insisted petulantly.

“Look, I can’t help it.” He waved toward the jungle. If he stopped to think about this at all, if Hux made it difficult, he wasn’t sure he’d be able to go through with it. And now, he realized he couldn’t even tell Hux who he was. It would make him look like a desperate fool for holding back for so long. 

“I’ll blow you to make it up to you.”

Hux squinted around in the darkness. The sky was a dim red, the sun long gone, but the moons had not yet risen over the treeline. Kylo was just about to drag him off bodily, when Hux pointed up into one of the trees across the street.

“There,” he said, squinting. Kylo followed the gesture to a cluster of green nella fruit, hanging high behind one of the buildings across the street.

“The fruit? You want tree fruit? Look, I’ll get you all the fruit you want-”

Abruptly, Hux removed the small service pistol from his belt and fired, barely taking aim. The flash of the plasma bullet lit their faces for a moment before it hit the fruit Hux had pointed to, causing them to explode into thick, flaming chunks all over the roof of the building.

Kylo frowned, impressed, then inclined his head to Hux. “You get that kind of accuracy with a come shot?”

Hux, looking around again, pointed at another bunch of fruit, then turned to Kylo, belligerent. “You do it.”

“I’m not a sniper, sweetheart.” The endearment slipped out unbidden. Kylo often used it as a pet name for hookups, but it rang hollow as something to call Hux. _Asshole_ felt better. “I’m more of a close-up kind of guy.”

Hux snorted, but undeterred, reached over to Kylo’s belt. Kylo grabbed his wrist on reflex as Hux’s grip closed over his lightsaber. 

Kylo cursed. He’d forgotten about that. When had Hux spotted it? When he walked into the bar? 

Hux glared at him, and Kylo released his wrist. 

“Is that what this is, then? For close-up work?”

Kylo rolled his eyes, his stomach tightening. Maybe Hux had known all along, and was about to throw Kylo’s anonymous soldier identity back into his face. “Yeah.”

Hux looked at it, turning it over in both hands. Kylo wanted to snatch it back from him. No one touched his weapon but him. But he waited, figuring that he’d have something else to fight with Hux about soon enough.

Presently, Hux looked back at him, brandishing it. “I know someone else that uses one of these.”

Kylo opened his mouth, closed it, then opened it again. “Really,” he managed, in a flat voice.

“I didn’t realize they were standard issue for… that kind of soldier.”

 _That kind of soldier_. Right. “It’s an option, yeah.”

Hux turned half away from him, holding the hilt in one hand. Hux had to be playing him. It seemed impossible that he hadn’t guessed by now. But… he didn’t know Kylo’s face, and he’d never seen another lightsaber before, obviously. Kylo’s looked nothing like one. Hux would have been the only person to recognize it as a weapon.

“I would think a gun would make for a better strategy.”

“You would,” Kylo said without thinking, and Hux turned to glare at him. He grinned, and continued as if Hux didn’t know him. “I’m too close for a gun by the time they know I’m there.”

“Right.” Hux rolled his eyes, then hit the activation switch. Kylo wasn’t expecting that, and jumped. The main blade turned on, and the vents a moment later. The light from the blade washed the ramshackle street in red light. The blade was unstable and hard to handle even for Kylo. It vibrated and hummed, and kicked back once, hard, when the vents activated. Surprised, Hux shouted and dropped it, the blade turning off as it hit the ground.

They were both silent for a moment, then Hux bent down, retrieving the weapon and handing it back to Kylo, blade first, still with a quiet look of consideration on his face.

“Are they all standard issue?”

Kylo was amused. “We all build our own. But I guess they are similar, yeah. There’s only so many ways to build a plasma sword.”

That was emphatically untrue, but he supposed if his was the only one Hux had ever seen, it would be believable. Given how businesslike he was on the ship, and how exacting his standards were for training and weaponry, Kylo was having a hard time believing how easy it was to deceive him.

Hux shrugged, then looked around the small street again, obviously losing interest in the conversation. “Where are you staying?”

Kylo hoisted his armor pack back onto his shoulder. “Not here. I told you, there aren’t any rooms here.” He took Hux’s hand again and pulled him into the jungle. Hux resisted, but not hard enough to pull his hand from Kylo’s grip.

“You’re sleeping in the woods?”

“In a standard issue tent. It’s the best you’ll get tonight.” He turned and looked over his shoulder, winking, wondering if Hux could see it in the dark. “I told you you could stay with the active duty soldiers if you put out.”

At that, Hux did stop. Kylo turned, but before he could speak, Hux interrupted him, his voice uncertain.

“You’re staying with the camps on the front lines? In the main First Order area?”

“No,” Kylo answered, impatient. “I’m by myself. I’m not with the main camp.”

“Oh.” Hux sounded relieved. Kylo took his hand and began pulling him through the woods again, before he could ask any more questions.

Hux went along with it easily enough, though he continued to ask questions. “Why aren’t you staying with the main camp? Isn't that a safety precaution?”

He just didn’t. Kylo thought about it a minute, then decided that was good enough.

“I work alone.”

Hux seemed to accept this. They walked in silence for several more minutes, the sounds they made crashing through the underbrush mixing with the high, cacophonous calls of insects and the occasional screech of a night bird. The tent was only about a ten minute hike from Darris, about a half hour from the citadel, and on the opposite side of the First Order encampment. It was perfectly isolated, hidden, and exactly what Kylo liked when he was doing a mission like this.

After a moment, he realized it seemed like exactly what Hux wanted, too. “You don’t want to stay with the main camp. You also went as far away from your ship as possible to take leave. Why? You don’t hit Canto Bight with your officer buddies when you get time off?”

“I don’t have _officer buddies_ ,” Hux returned quickly, seeming offended by the implication he would have friends. He was silent for a few moments, then continued. “I told you, I’m part of the training. A lot of people recognize me. I… didn’t want that. I just wanted to be on leave.”

 _Just a nobody, getting a drink in a bar with some strangers. Not putting on a performance_. Something twisted in Kylo’s chest at the idea, which was deeply relatable. He relished these times after the mission where he didn’t have to _be himself_ , when he could take off his helmet and get a drink and relax and not have to worry about _control_ or _the Dark side_ or whether he had failed his mission or whether the soldier condition reports he hadn’t filed would come back to bite him-

They’d reached the cleft in the cliff where he’d pitched his tent, stepping out of the trees and into the small open area of tall grass and thorny weeds in front of it. He dropped his bag and pulled Hux closer to him, giving him another kiss, harder this time. Hux responded, surprised and stiff at first, then dropping his own bag and wrapping his hands around Kylo’s shoulders, slowly sliding them around his back. Something unfolded in Kylo’s chest, and he didn’t examine it. _It just feels good. Fuck it. Just keep going_.

He pulled back after a moment, sliding his hand up to Hux’s neck, his thumb along his pulse point. Hux’s heart was beating just as fast as his.

“Hmm. Are you ready to spend your leave in my bed, then?”

Hux’s hand slid up, and he tugged at Kylo’s greasy, too-long hair, pulling on his scalp, stretching his throat to bare it. “I’ll spend my entire leave inside you, if you aren’t careful.”

 _Stars_. That was… unexpected. Kylo’s cock jumped in his pants as he grinned. “Ah. You’re the one giving orders. I’m bad at following orders, actually. That’s why I work alone.”

Hux held his gaze, tilting his head in consideration, then licked his tongue up Kylo’s neck, stopping at his ear and sighing in exasperation. Kylo shivered and closed his eyes. “That’s too bad. I can leave you here with your right hand, if you’d rather.”

“You won’t.” It was too easy.

Hux made a disgusted noise, then release his tight hold on his hair and took a step back. “Get undressed,” he ordered crisply, his confidence returning as he took a look around the clearing, still dark without the moons risen in the sky. “Where is your bed? Are we fucking in the briars?”

The single-occupancy tents really weren’t meant for this, and both of them cursed as they stripped naked and tangled together, sweaty and desperate, as they crawled through the opening and onto Kylo’s mattress. There was barely room to sit up. The remnants of Kylo’s rations were stuffed around the large travel mattress, along with the rest of the field kit he’d been issued. He was vaguely aware that his armor and weapon were laying in the clearing, but Hux was already pushing and prodding him into position, forcing him down onto the mattress and licking his nipples, one hand already roughly around Kylo’s cock. Kylo leaned back, shocked to see him so desperate, the sensation of his tongue against his nipples sending heat through every part of him. Nobody ever put their mouth on him like this, and he was taken aback that Hux would bother.

“Lube,” Hux ordered once, when he came back up for air, his free hand squeezing one of Kylo’s pecs. “Now.”

Kylo put his hand out without thinking, gesturing in the direction of the med-kit, summoning it to his palm. He cursed at the misstep, but it happened at the same time Hux did something clever with his teeth to his nipple. He looked up through the fringe of his hair and grinned. That thin-lipped, disapproving mouth was smiling, and his foul tongue was unexpectedly talented. He would never forget this. Instead, Kylo closed his eyes and pretended Hux was someone else.

“Armitage,” he muttered. “Armitage.”

“Give me that.” He sat up and took the lube from Kylo’s hands, squirting some into his palm and rubbing his fingers together, a distasteful expression on his face.

“What? Why’d you stop?”

“What is this? This isn’t right,” he muttered, while maneuvering Kylo into his lap and pushing his legs apart, giving him access to his hole, which he promptly shoved a single finger into with very little finesse. Kylo clamped up immediately, wincing and hissing.

“Ow, careful! It’s not a fucking datapad.”

“This lube’s disgusting.”

This was more like the Hux he knew. Unfortunately, if Kylo couldn't pretend he was someone else, he wasn't entirely sure he could go through with this. “Shut up and fuck me, and the lube won’t matter.”

Hux frowned, glancing up into his face, then back down to his hand. “Do you want anything else before this, or just-”

“Just fuck me,” Kylo said.

Hux was looking down again, his expression troubled, his hand slowing as he moved more gently in and out of Kylo, probing. “How used are you to this?”

Kylo didn’t really want to answer that. He turned his head away. “It’s fine. Just go slow.”

Hux was silent for another moment. Strange, after his show of confidence earlier. “Do you like this?”

Kylo wanted to bite out a sarcastic comment, wanted to ask Hux what he knew about it. But Hux had an oddly vulnerable look on his face, nearly miserable. 

Again, there was something that twisted inside Kylo, and he sat up, raking his fingers through Hux’s soft hair, not able to resist the impulse to kiss him again. This time, with their mouths together, he sought Hux in the Force, something he rarely did with his partners - it was too intimate. He didn’t want to do it with Hux, he didn’t want the connection, but.

There was just something about him that begged for it. Some part of Kylo that begged for it, too. It felt right. When Kylo touched Hux’s awareness in the Force, he gasped, grasping Hux’s head in both hands and bowing his head, breaking the kiss, almost unable to bear the connection.

“I like it,” he said. “But…” He sensed Hux was troubled by something, wanted this, but was also upset by it. Upset by Kylo. Specifically, Kylo. Did he know after all? Kylo looked up into his face. “What’s wrong?”

Hux looked startled. “Nothing.”

Kylo closed his eyes, running his hands down Hux’s shoulders, his arms, grasping his hands, then leaning back down. “Okay. Keep going.”

This time, Hux’s fingering was more solemn, a little more careful, and neither of them said anything aside from Kylo’s perfunctory grunts and groans. At one point, he gripped his own cock, his palm too dry for it to feel very good. He normally preferred his sex very businesslike - he liked fucking as fast as possible, he liked getting off, and that was it. 

But with Hux, he found himself watching the expression on his face as he ran a palm up and down Kylo’s spread thigh, as his fingers went in and out of Kylo. Hux looked overwhelmed. Hux felt overwhelmed, where Kylo could still sense him in the Force. He should stop that - pull himself back, leave Hux to himself, make this more casual.

But. Instead, he was jerking himself dry while memorizing the fall of Hux’s hair across his eyes.

“Armitage,” he said.

And that was all they needed. Hux threw Kylo’s legs over his shoulders, and Kylo held himself up as Hux pushed his way in.

It didn’t last long. Hux was drunk, Kylo was nearly delirious with exhaustion, and it was hot. Hux was too nervous, too strung out, and Kylo could feel his odd mix of arousal and terror, the sense that he was struggling to let himself have this. Which was odd. Hux wasn’t feeling it like Kylo was, and Hux didn’t…

“You don’t know,” Kylo muttered, closing his eyes, on the verge of orgasm. “I’m no one. You don’t know who I am.” He should have put the Force behind it, made it a suggestion. But he’d done enough of that this week, and he didn’t want to do it to Hux. He wasn’t sure whether Hux would come or not, but his dry palm, Hux’s cock up his ass, and the overwhelming presence of Hux pressing down on him was all he needed.

Hux made an odd choking sound. “Of course I know, you complete idiot.”

Kylo’s eyes flew open as Hux’s panic spiked. His face was screwed up, and he turned away as he grabbed Kylo’s cock from him and finished him with several rough strokes.

It was enough for Kylo. He came with a shout onto his own chest, could feel himself clenching around Hux’s dick, could feel his awareness in the Force pushing back against Hux. 

Of course Hux knew. He was _Hux_. He knew everything, and they’d just done something monumentally stupid.

It was only a few seconds before Hux pulled out and shifted himself back, and even with his eyes closed, he could hear Hux jerking himself over Kylo. After a few seconds, he shifted, straddling Kylo’s legs, still masturbating.

“Your face,” Hux muttered. “Let me come onto your face.”

Kylo rolled his face to the side. “Do it.” They’d already made enough mistakes tonight. What was one more? What did it matter if Hux saw his helmet and thought about the come shot he’d taken onto Kylo’s face?

Hux shifted up, sitting on Kylo’s chest, his sweaty thighs pushed into Kylo’s sides, hot an unbearable, but weighing almost nothing. Hux finished quickly. Kylo felt the hot stripes of come hit his lips, his eyelashes, his nose, his hair. He made no move to touch it, but moments later, Hux leaned in, licking it off his face, then kissing Kylo.

Kylo moaned. Stars, if that wasn’t the hottest thing that had ever happened to him. He had no way to get the come out of his hair, but who cared?

Hux rolled off of him, and tucked himself between Kylo and the stone face of the cliff on the other side of the tent wall. They said nothing, their heavy breathing overly loud, their skin sweat-slick where they touched, Hux’s back to Kylo’s chest. Hux was shivering slightly in the aftermath of his orgasm. Kylo impulsively threw an arm over him. It was really too hot for this, they were both sweating, and Kylo was already filthy, but-

Kylo stayed connected to Hux in the Force, just a bit longer. They could sort things out in the morning, when Kylo would regret every part of this night.

“Armitage,” he said instead. 

Hux was already asleep.


	2. Chapter 2

The lightsaber wasn’t next to the mattress. He couldn’t find his weapon, and there was someone here, they’d tried to kill him in his sleep, where was his _fucking weapon_ -

It took him a moment to realize that the person he was attacking was Hux, and a longer moment to remember why Hux was in his tent, during which Kylo very nearly crushed his windpipe. Only the puzzle of why they were both naked had saved Hux’s life, as Hux killing Kylo in his sleep had seemed likely. Kylo had come fully awake on top of Hux, pinning him, groping beside the mattress for his lightsaber, his other forearm across Hux’s throat. Hux had been ineffectually tearing at his arm, then his hair.

When Kylo paused, Hux was utterly terrified, stiff and frozen with fear, his eyes searching Kylo’s face. When Kylo finally remembered what had happened the night before, his head began throbbing and he pushed himself away. He moved as far as he could in the tiny, stuffy tent, sitting on the hard ground with his legs spread in front of him, still nearly tangled with Hux’s.

Well. Kylo should have known it would come to this. He was a light sleeper, and prone to nightmares and visions, especially after struggling with the Force. Of course he would attack Hux, his antagonistic coworker, when they were both half-asleep. 

Hux deserved the rude awakening. Kylo remembered that Hux had recognized him, but was confused about everything after that - why would Hux admit to knowing him, fuck him, then sleep in his bed? How long had he known? Had Hux been the one playing Kylo for a fool the whole time?

Kylo remembered the sex, the overwhelmed look on Hux’s face. That he’d let Hux come on his face.

He ran a hand through his hair, where Hux’s come had dried stiff, and was angry, confused, and jumpy. He stared, waiting to see what Hux would say.

In the dark of the night, after that first tender round and with the truth between them, they’d had a lot of sex. Kylo hadn’t been able to sleep as easily as Hux, despite how exhausted the mission and the evening had left him. Hux was in Kylo's bed, and he was willing himself not to think about it, that he would deal with it in the morning, that there was no point in waking Hux up and demanding an explanation. He’d been rewarded for his patience when he discovered that Hux had a habit of dozing for twenty minutes, then waking up for more sex. 

Kylo had been incredulous at first, but he hadn’t exactly resisted, especially when it became clear that there wouldn’t be any more difficult conversation to go with it. Both of them had kept their mouths busy. Hux had been more confident, and Kylo had been pleased to learn that Hux was a biter. He was also a forceful partner who liked giving orders, and became more forceful when he was disobeyed. He was exactly the kind of partner Kylo liked, and Kylo had needed the distraction and release so badly. His eagerness to pick and choose which orders he disobeyed seemed to feed into whatever it was that Hux needed as well. He’d also all but worshipped Kylo’s body.

But in the stillness of the morning, this was Armitage Hux, and they barely tolerated one another.

Thinking about how good Hux had been in bed was useless. It would never happen again, and was best forgotten. Right now, he needed an explanation from Hux. They could probably skip the lies, since Kylo had already tried to kill him this morning.

Hux was still for a few seconds, then pushed himself shakily into a seated position in the opposite corner of the tent. He braced himself with one hand against the ground, and pressed the other to his forehead, head hanging, eyes closed. It was still dark, only the light from the setting moon reaching inside the tent, but Kylo could see his hand tremble slightly. 

“What is wrong with you?”

Kylo glared at him, trying to cling to his anger, but he was also thrumming with the high of unspent adrenaline and the edges of his own fear. _Waking up in the dark, the glow of the lightsaber in the little room, the hard expression staring down at him-_

“It’s happened before,” Kylo said simply, which was as much of an explanation as he would give. He shrugged dismissively, both to indicate he wasn’t discussing it further, and to banish the memory. It was nothing. What had just happened was also nothing.

Hux relaxed slightly, and he moved his fingers to his hair as his gaze went to the entrance to the tent, through the opening in the rock they’d crawled through. It was still hot, and he and Hux has both exerted themselves, then slept pressed together. Hux's hair had darkened with sweat, and he looked less like a lost recruit and more like himself. Pain seemed to pinch his brow and push his features into his usual familiar expression, and Kylo wondered how he could have mistaken Hux for a stranger.

“It’s happened to me as well,” Hux replied after a pause, his eyes shifting to Kylo’s. Kylo was struck again by how very green they were. He wondered how he’d never noticed before. Kylo almost missed the admission itself - that Hux understood what Kylo had said, and had also apparently been attacked in his sleep.

Kylo's stomach twisted slightly, but he quickly dismissed it. So what? Lots of people wanted Hux dead. That didn’t mean anything. Kylo only stared silently. After a moment, Hux closed his eyes and pressed his palm back over his face. “I have enough presence of mind not to attack my sex partners.”

Kylo ignored the insult and got to the point. “Why are you still here?”

“Where else am I supposed to go? You kidnapped me to a swamp at night while I was drunk, I have no idea where we are.”

“I didn’t kidnap you. And you weren’t that drunk,” Kylo muttered after a moment. He couldn't have been, though he’d seemed a little off when they’d left Darris. “We may as well have been drinking water. At least the beer is cleaner. There’s no way you got drunk at that bar.”

“It wasn’t the beer,” Hux said peevishly, crawling forward toward the entrance and bending over the edge of the mattress to rummage through his pack, which had somehow made it inside. It gave Kylo an impressive view of his narrow ass, but he quickly looked away, angry again.

“Then what was it? My fucking good looks?”

Something hard hit him in the chest and fell in front of him. It was a flask. A big one. Kylo frowned at its size, unscrewing it and smelling its contents. It was empty, but the pungent scent of alcohol was still obvious.

“Were you drinking _jet juice_?” Kylo blurted, glancing to Hux again, who was sitting on his knees in front of his pack, tearing into a hangover cure and swallowing it dry. Kylo watched his mouth and throat, then looked back to the silver flask.

“Yes,” Hux replied, still annoyed.

“Where did you even get jet juice?”

“Where do you think?” He leaned against one of the rock walls the tent was pitched against and closed his eyes. “I’m fairly certain there’s an unauthorized distillery in the J deck quarters on my ship.”

There was. Kylo had made use of it more than once after long missions. He didn’t think Hux was the type to let something like that go.

“Was this full?” He asked instead, running his thumb along the side of the flask. “How were you still conscious?”

“How else was I supposed to ride the transports to the end of the line? Do you think I managed that sober?”

Kylo made another grunt of agreement, tossing the flask onto Hux’s pack. If that was true, he had impressive tolerance. “I thought you were the type that was into core-brewed brandy.”

Hux opened his eyes and held Kylo’s gaze again. They were both silent for several seconds, and then Hux asked, very slowly and carefully, the slight rimmer accent disappearing into flawless Imperial speech, “Why would you assume that?”

Kylo held his gaze, careful to keep his expression blank. His fingers twitched. He really, _really_ didn’t feel like playing mind games with Armitage Hux this morning. This situation was once again sliding sideways, though Kylo was itching to fight and finish.

He should just push into Hux’s thoughts. Figure out what this was all about.

He began to raise his hand, then dropped it, making a dismissive noise and crawling back to the mattress, stretching himself out in the darkness and closing his eyes. He was too tired for this. If Hux was going to make something of this, he was too kriffing slow. And if he wanted to pretend they didn’t know each other, fine. Maybe that would be less weird.

“Whatever. I told you yesterday, you’d look lost on a battlefield. That’s usually where the jet juice is, right?”

Hux grunted in agreement, then closed his eyes and leaned back against the rock wall of the cave. Silence stretched between them. It was humid, but the heat was tolerable without the suns out to bake the planet. Most of the insects and avians had silenced in the pre-dawn hours. Kylo should stretch his awareness out and look for threats. 

Kylo should kick Hux out of his tent.

But the silence was comfortable, and the more he thought about it, the more none of this made sense. If he’d come here to kill Kylo for some reason, he would have done it immediately, instead of waiting for him at the bar. If Hux had been trying to humiliate Kylo, he should have ended it before he licked his own come off Kylo’s face, then fucked him several more times. There was no advantage for either of them right now. And if Hux was planning anything else, Kylo could disappear him into the jungle without a trace, and there wasn’t a thing Hux could do to stop him, devious and unpleasant as he allegedly was.

Kylo ran through his memories of the night again, wishing that Hux had been a stranger. It had been everything Kylo had needed. Drinks, a hot meal, and a pickup that he could needle and play with. Usually he’d insist on a rented room, or going back to the pickup’s place. He liked sleeping with someone after an emotionally exhausting mission that tried his powers. If he'd been a stranger, Kylo probably would have dropped him back at Darris as soon as they woke up, and saved the memories for future lonely nights. Hux had suited his taste in every single way, other than being Hux. 

The more Kylo thought about it, the more he convinced himself that it might not be a game. What Hux had said last night seemed fairly truthful, and more likely than an attempted murder or a bizarre humiliation. There was no way Hux’s security clearance or connections would have revealed Kylo’s location, and Kylo couldn’t recall doing anything that would have angered him badly enough to warrant retaliation. Maybe he’d been caught out by this as much as Kylo. It was possible. This morning, and its naked and companionable silence, was less awkward than it should be. And he had a hard time holding onto his anger, without Hux actively antagonizing him. Hux could have used his datapad to get back to Darris, but he hadn’t. If he wanted to enjoy this and pretend it hadn't happened later, that was for the best.

He sighed, opening his eyes to stare at the darkness above him, pushing his hair out of his face, feeling Hux’s come in it again. What did he have to do today? He loathed the thought of getting up, still mentally exhausted from the mission and not wanting to face another blistering, unpleasant day in the Tafali swamps. He should bathe, and probably get his kit together and get out of here before they found something else for him to do. He knew better than to linger at a base. Hux would have to leave anyway, find his own way back to-

He heard the seal crack on a canteen, and opened his eyes to watch as Hux drank from it. His skin was pale in the darkness, bruised along his ribs from Kylo’s big hands gripping his narrow frame too tightly. Kylo rubbed his own neck and shoulder, covered with the places Hux had bitten and sucked him. It felt like he’d marked him thoroughly, which Kylo usually loved. He smiled. He’d think of it every time they argued.

Hux finished drinking, sighing and pinching his eyes shut as he re-sealed the canteen. He looked marginally less pained, which probably meant the hangover cure was working. He crawled over and examined the entrance to the tent, then turned to look back at Kylo.

“There’s really no place to get a ‘fresher here?”

Kylo looked past him, through the mouth of the cave. “No ‘freshers, unless you want to wander through the Pisson scout lines in the swamps to the gang showers at the base.”

Hux frowned. “I might.”

“There’s a river nearby.”

“Really? Why didn’t you say so? The kit comes with soap for that.”

Kylo made a face. “Have you ever used it?”

Hux turned to look back out the tent opening. “No. But I will now.”

“I won’t.”

Hux gestured, and began crawling out of the tent. “Take me.”

Kylo stayed where he was, pillowing his head on one arm, less willing to play along with this. “Why would I? Find it yourself.”

Hux made it out of the cave, but crouched naked outside, blocking the dim light and staring in at Kylo. “As I said, I am in the middle of the jungle. You’ll have to take me somewhere.”

“I don’t have to do anything. I’m off-duty now.”

“ _Ben_ ,” Hux huffed. “What crawled up your ass and died?”

Kylo’s brows raised. “Ben?”

Hux’s expression went carefully blank. “You were more accommodating before I gave you what you wanted.”

Kylo made a face. Fine, they were still pretending. Kylo could do that, and he could take Hux to the kriffing river. He made a sound, then groped around the edge of the mattress for two packets of the standard issue ash soap that came in the field kits. He threw all the clothing still on the mattress at Hux, then crawled out after him.

“Let’s go now,” he said. “I don’t want to be in the open when the sun starts to rise.”

“Why not?” Hux asked, pulling on his underwear and pants. Kylo moved over to his lightsaber, untouched through the night, which seemed miraculous. He fingered the activation switch, then set it aside and began pulling on his own clothes.

“It’s already too hot, and it’s the coolest part of the night. You don’t know how bad it gets here.”

Hux snorted. “I used to live on a desert planet.”

“I’d rather be in a desert than this. This is hotter than a desert, and the humidity-” He trailed off, shaking his head. It wasn’t fucking worth it. Let Hux roast alive.

Without the sun, Kylo only bothered with his pants and boots, which would be enough to protect him from the briars and weeds, if not the insects. Hux hesitated, looking at Kylo before turning his back and pulling on his own shirt.

Wordlessly, Kylo pulled on his belt and weapon and led them through the jungle again. He’d cleared perfunctory paths from his tent, including one to the river, though he hadn’t used it in several days. He guessed Hux’s hangover must still be fairly painful, because he’d dressed himself sloppily, not bothering to pull on his sidearm or his belt, and his pinched expression indicated he was unhappy about something. Possibly the insects, which were enormous and beginning to stir. There was something in the trees that made an awful high-pitched buzzing, and had just begun its morning routine. It had annoyed Kylo the entire time he was on-planet.

After a long and silent walk, the sounds of rushing water became audible over the insects, and soon enough, the wide river opened the thick vegetation of the swamp bank to bank, the sky just beginning to gray above them, the starlight brilliant, washing the water silver.

Hux approached the bank, staring at it unimpressed. “Is it safe? Sanitary?”

Kylo shrugged, beginning to pull his pants off again. “Don’t drink it. I use the tech for that. Watch for the slugs, they’ll stick to you and draw blood.”

Hux made a face. “That’s disgusting.”

“Haven’t you ever gone swimming before?”

“Of course,” Hux said defensively, looking away and turning around to pull his shirt over his head.

His tone indicated that he hadn’t. But Kylo was less in the mood to play with him this morning, so he threw one of the soap packets near Hux’s feet, then waded into the river. The center was slightly too deep to stand in, but the current was sluggish, and the water refreshingly cool. He closed his eyes, plunging his awareness through the water.

It was the same as last time. The stream fed a nearby lake, home to several large aquatic predators, but they didn’t venture upstream, it was too shallow. There were slugs, and some tiny fish that lived near the muddy bottom, along with the thin, soft plants that tickled his toes and made wading rather pleasant. The source was… vaguely up a mountain, and-

“This soap is terrible,” Hux interrupted. Kylo’s eyes snapped open, and he glared over.

“I told you,” he said sullenly, ducking below the surface of the water to wet his hair and lay his palms against the bottom of the stream, once again sending his awareness through the water. It was easier to meditate in a stream, where the flow of the Force was much easier to fall into than the air currents.

He could sense Hux, too, much like he had last night. He was in pain - apparently the headache was not artifice. He was tired, sullen, and somewhat regretful, presumably of last night. Kylo was too. He never spent time with his one-night stands once they woke up, always inventing an excuse to leave as fast as possible. Bathing with someone was new, he hadn’t done this since he’d trained at the Jedi Temple. He’d also never actually fucked an officer of the First Order, let alone someone he worked as closely with as Hux.

And Hux hated him, of course. They both had to pretend this hadn’t happened, even though it was pretty comfortable. Maybe that was what he was regretting. Kylo was, a little.

Kylo pushed his head above the surface, feeling the water stream from his hair. He retrieved his packet of soap, then waded to the middle of the river and began an attempt to wash himself. The soap was gritty, didn’t lather, and he usually felt more disgusting for having used it. But he needed to wash Hux’s come out of his hair, he needed to finish and leave and make Hux go somewhere else. Thinking about Hux and the ease of this morning, and watching him bathe in the river, was making Kylo want another round of sex. Which… was definitely a bad idea, with or without the truce.

Well. If he was going to regret all of this anyway, he might as well make it worse and forget it just as fast. It would feel good, and would change nothing. 

Kylo eyed Hux, wondering how they’d do it if they were both awake and sober. Hux, oblivious and naked, was running one hand through his hair, the headache still obvious in his squint and pinched expression.

Kylo pushed off the bottom of the river and swam closer. “Are you really that hung over? We really didn’t have that much. And you exercised after that.”

Hux’s forehead smoothed as he raised his brows. “I told you, the hangover has nothing to do with you.”

“The exercise does.”

“Right. Well, you certainly didn’t take any. I did all the work.”

“Yeah. You really seemed to hate it.” 

Hux frowned, then turned away, a mild sense of his embarrassment rolling from him. Embarrassment about what? How much he liked Kylo’s body? Kylo nearly blurted that last night had been hot as fuck, but then he remembered why Hux was embarrassed - it was Kylo Ren’s body he’d been attracted to.

Right.

Kylo made his voice lighter, wondering how much of this Hux was willing to acknowledge aloud. “Then the jet juice wasn’t enough to make you forget last night.”

Hux kept his back to Kylo. “I remember.”

He should stop there, because looking at Hux’s bare shoulders, his narrow arms, his pale skin that stood out in the growing light of dawn, Kylo wanted to grab him and hold him and make him put his mouth all over Kylo’s body again. He wanted Hux to fuck him into the warm mud of the bank. None of that would happen if he forced the point now.

But Kylo loved making bad choices. This one was terrible already, and he had to know what Hux thought about all this. 

“Then you know what you did. What you told me.”

“Yes,” Hux began, agitated, turning around to face him again. “I asked, and you said yes.”

Kylo blinked. “You asked? Asked what?”

Hux gestured to his own face, then closed the distance between them, expression growing more intent. To Kylo’s surprise, he reached a palm between them, rubbing the gritty soap along Kylo’s cheek and jaw, then through his hair. “You said I could come on your face.”

Kylo opened his mouth, then closed, it, gripping Hux’s wrist. “Yes, you unloaded onto my face,” he replied, annoyed and confused that Hux mentioned that, over all the other things they did. That _was_ embarrassing. “I didn’t-” He paused. He didn’t what? Know who Hux was? Of course he fucking did. And he'd let Hux do it anyway. 

“It was the heat of the moment,” he finished, clenching his jaw to calm down. There really wasn’t anything else to say in his defense. “And anyway, I _like_ that.”

Hux tipped his head, looking amused. “Good. So do I.”

“Good? How the fuck are you going to look me in the face without thinking about it?”

Hux narrowed his eyes, and lowered his voice. “I wasn’t planning to forget it, no.”

Kylo jerked away from him, suddenly furious. “Of course you fucking weren’t. I should have-” He should have fucking known. Giving Hux the pleasure of coming on his face, he’d bring it up. He’d remember. But he didn’t think about it. He’d just _wanted_ , and he’d let it happen. He’d delivered that humiliation to Hux practically giftwrapped.

Kylo turned and swam for the bank, needing to destroy something and aware that it would probably be Hux’s face. Then he would have something to remember, too.

“What’s wrong with you?” Hux shouted, sounding annoyed again, and breaking Kylo’s last thread of self-restraint. Kylo spun around, lunging deeper into the water and going after Hux. Hux’s eyes widened, and he backed away. “You just said you liked it! I was trying to fucking-”

Kylo was allowing himself to fall into the Force, to let the Dark side feed his thoughts and emotions. Vaguely, he was aware he shouldn’t, because he would kill Hux, but Hux was the one stupid enough to provoke him, and no one would know. Or miss him.

As he swam closer, he became more aware of Hux’s thoughts - confusion, betrayal, arousal that was quickly giving way to fear as Kylo closed the distance between them. It was the arousal that stopped Kylo, and he stared at Hux.

“Fuck this,” he said aloud, and he pulled Hux to him with the Force, clamping his other hand over Hux’s eyes to put him to sleep. Kylo didn’t want to hear any more explanations, didn’t want to hear anything else that might come out of his mouth. He wasn’t going to get a straight word out of Armitage Hux, and he wouldn’t stand here and be insulted by him.

He went into his memories, examining what Hux had thought of last night. To Kylo’s surprise, Hux had enjoyed it, had found Kylo just as attractive and suited to his tastes as Kylo had. He really had been trying to fuck Kylo again just now, which didn’t make sense. Why was he gloating?

Except, he hadn’t been. The arrogance and smugness that Kylo associated with Hux had been entirely absent when he’d felt Hux’s emotions. Pushing deeper, not believing any of this, Kylo found that Hux truly hadn’t been belittling Kylo. He’d been trying to bring the conversation back around to sex, had not been able to stop staring at Kylo’s naked body. Hux found Kylo’s body both enormously attractive and a massive blow to the insecurities he had about his own body, and the combination was deeply arousing to him.

Kylo’s eyes came back into focus, and he looked down into Hux’s face. What the fuck? Why would he try to pick him up by bragging about giving Kylo a facial? He’d been awkward at the bar, but he hadn’t been a complete idiot.

Kylo pushed down into Hux’s thoughts again, curious and annoyed and unable to help himself. Hux seemed to have no opinions on Kylo, other than regretting the headache he still had, along with vague arousal and attraction. That was a surprise, because he had plenty of opinions about Kylo when they were working together.

He braced himself and adjusted his control - anything more specific was dangerous, but Kylo had to know what Hux had been thinking last night. He was careful, less and less sure that Hux deserved to have his mind obliterated. What Kylo saw made him feel worse - shame, when Hux had brought himself to ask to come on Kylo’s face. Hux remembered that well, and as he said, very fondly. He’d been too ashamed to ask for it, but it was something he’d always wanted, and he couldn’t believe someone like Kylo had allowed it. There were images of the rest - Kylo’s chest and arms, his cock and how it had tasted, the slick feeling of sweat, how his teeth had felt in Kylo’s skin. Kylo was growing aroused himself, and debated pulling back. 

But. He wasn’t thinking about Kylo Ren. Not at all. Hux thought very little of his partner, which was selfish of him, but not surprising. 

Kylo looked for the moment he’d admitted he knew Kylo. It wasn’t there. There was plenty of Hux swallowing the jet juice on the transport, nervous about the war zone, confident they wouldn’t realize he was First Order. He'd been worried about being recognized, which Hux found awkward when he tried to initiate sex. The bar, seeing Kylo, being both annoyed and attracted. Hux seemed to have a vague wrongness associated with these memories, something that made him anxious. He found that Hux was denying himself these thoughts, dismissing them. Most of the specifics of what they’d talked about at the bar were gone. The walk through the trees. He knew Kylo was black ops, but didn’t remember anything else, other than how Kylo’s pants had stretched over his thighs, how his forearms had flexed as he drank.

His anxiety had grown throughout the evening, had become almost unbearable by the time he’d climbed on top of Kylo that first time. Hux knew there was something wrong, but he was trying desperately not to think about it.

Kylo pulled back completely, his rage gone, replaced by astonishment.

Hux _didn’t remember_. And he didn’t know. Whatever Hux had said last night… maybe he had known. But there was no memory of that now. Not one that Hux was willing to acknowledge, at least, even deep within his own thoughts.

Something twisted in Kylo’s chest. He could send Hux away, and Hux would never know, would never allow himself to guess. It could stay a good memory.

He let out a breath, his eyes taking in Hux’s features. His expression was slack, his eyelashes spiky with the dirty river water, his hair long and tickling the back of Kylo’s hand where he was supporting Hux’s head and neck.

Kylo willed himself to let all his anger and anxiety go. Hux was a terrible person, and one almost universally hated among anyone that actually knew him. But he had been trying to loosen up and forget himself, just the same as Kylo. Here and now, he’d done nothing but have fun with a stranger who wanted all the same things he did.

Something twisted in Kylo’s stomach, and he pushed that thought away. Getting sentimental was dangerous. But… spending more time with Hux, letting them both enjoy this? Well, they both needed it. And Kylo couldn't deny himself. Not after seeing how much Hux wanted to fuck him.

“Armitage,” he shook Hux slightly, and Hux blinked, then stiffened in his grip, pulling away and putting distance between them. He put a hand to his face, then felt his body gingerly.

“You fell backwards,” Kylo lied. “I think you hit your head on a rock.”

“Not your fist?”

Kylo shrugged. “No. I thought you were mocking me. I have a temper. But when you fell, I realized I was overreacting.”

“I wasn’t mocking you! I was trying to fuck you again!” Hux shouted, a little shrilly. 

Kylo thinned his lips in an effort not to laugh, his mood shifting abruptly at the outburst. That was unlike Hux, and also not something he’d ever say to Kylo.

He shrugged dismissively. “Okay. Why didn’t you just say so?”

“I tried. You nearly attacked me. And you aren’t exactly forthcoming yourself.”

“That was…” Kylo was defensive for a moment, but realized that Hux wasn’t wrong. He blew out a breath and ran a hand over his wet hair, offering a half truth. “Look. You can see how I might be touchy about that.”

“You said you liked it!”

“I _did_ ,” Kylo replied, with more patience than he wanted to give Hux. “Look. I’m not great with coworkers. At all. You have a particular…” he waved his hand up and down, “Officer thing going. I can’t stop thinking about what happens if I have to work with you, and you bring up that I liked it when you came on my face.”

Hux frowned, and while he looked less likely to run, the flavor of his wariness changed. “Then you recognize me? I don’t remember asking you last night, though I assumed I wouldn’t have gone to bed with you if you had.”

Kylo resisted rolling his eyes. Of course Hux was making this about himself. “Yes, you asked me, and no, I didn’t recognize you.” He had no idea why he lied. A voice told him this was how he could drive Hux away, with no further strings attached to great sex. But he _wanted_ , so he kept going. “But I’ve never done that before, and I don’t like having a coworker out there that knows that about me.” He realized that was probably more than Hux needed to know. It was too personal, and he grunted, annoyed. “Yeah, whatever. I overreacted. That’s me.”

Hux eyed him, obviously not quite accepting this. “We’re hardly coworkers. Did you tell me anything about yourself, aside from your first name and that you were Black Ops stationed here for the conflict?”

“No. And I wasn’t planning on it. Do you have a problem with that?”

“No.” Hux crossed his arms and held Kylo’s gaze. For a moment, he was himself, though he was completely naked and standing in a swamp at night on Tafali. Kylo still wanted him. “I don’t work with Black Ops. I don’t care.”

Kylo smirked, and couldn’t help himself. The needling from yesterday had been too much fun, and he realized he could continue. “Are you sure?”

Hux rolled his eyes. “Obviously you know something that I don’t. Am I supposed to be impressed, that a Black Ops agent knows classified postings on a Star Destroyer?”

He stepped closer, and Hux stayed in place. This was such a bad idea, what came next. But he’d given up his self-control when he quit the Jedi Order. “I don’t know. Do you find me impressive?”

Hux’s eyes dropped to Kylo’s chest, and he sighed. “If you want me to fuck you again, you’ll have to say so.”

Kylo stepped closer. “I want you to fuck me again. But before that, I want you to tell me that I’m impressive.”

Hux’s arms uncrossed, and he closed the distance between them. “Do you really need me to tell you?” Hux rested a hand on Kylo’s shoulder, and traced his chest with the index finger of his other hand, teasing his nipple between thumb and forefinger. “I suspect your ego is large enough without my encouragement.”

“You need to say it,” Kylo insisted, dropping his hands to Hux’s waist. He still couldn’t believe how narrow he was out of uniform. Kylo closed his eyes and let out a shaky breath, focusing on the sharp sensations from his nipple. “It’s not like you don’t like hearing how hot you are.”

“Me? You’ve insulted my appearance several times.” Kylo’s breath caught, but he let it out when Hux continued, referencing their conversation from the day before, and not work. “As you said, I obviously don’t belong here. And I have very little in the way of physical gifts.”

Kylo opened his eyes. “Do you think I’d let just anyone come on my face?”

Hux tweaked his nipple, unaffected. “You said as much earlier. That hardly had to do with your body, it was impulsive for both of us.”

“It didn’t have to do with our bodies? Really?”

Hux looked annoyed, his expression shifting briefly to the disapproving mask Kylo was used to. But the moment passed with a shrug of Hux’s shoulder. “Yes, fine. If you’d like to hear it…” He leaned in closer, his lips on Kylo’s wet ear, and exhaled before continuing. “I like having a man as fit as you under me. I’d come on you again, drag my dick along your chest here-” he traced a wet finger between Kylo’s pecs, “make sure I smear everything here-” he drug his finger up, then along Kylo’s collarbone, tracing the placed he’d bitten the night before. “And I’d lick it off you. I’d make you beg me, if I did it again. I’d lick up your neck.” He drug his hand further up Kylo’s neck, then cupped his chin. “I’d make you eat it after.”

With that, he shifted, pulling Kylo’s chin toward him and kissing him savagely, with teeth and tongue. Heat unfurled in Kylo’s body, in his gut and in his chest, chasing along every nerve. He groaned, not expecting something so filthy from Hux. Hux’s confidence was back, and Kylo had to admit to himself that in this context, it was more than welcome. Kylo pressed their hips together, pushed his thigh against Hux's filling cock. Hux pressed into Kylo harder, rolling his hips in response.

Stars. It was perfect, and addictive. He usually hated over-confident partners, had to keep himself apart, wary of what he wouldn’t like. But somehow, he couldn’t pull himself away from it when Hux did it. He could lose himself, seeking the blissful blankness that usually alluded him when he tried for it in meditation.

Hux pulled away, studying his face. “Is that something you’re interested in?”

“Yes,” Kylo agreed, hating himself. He shouldn’t do this. He’d nearly killed Hux twice today for sleeping with him. But Hux’s arousal was strong enough that he could sense it, settling over him like a suffocating heat. He’d never had a partner that wanted him so badly he could taste it. Being wanted this much made him nearly tremble with it himself, it fed every good thing about the encounter. 

He could pretend Hux was a stranger for just a little longer.

“Good,” Hux replied simply, taking a step back and appraising Kylo, still looking more like himself than a stranger. He looked nearly unaffected, save for his hard cock, though Kylo could sense otherwise. The water they were standing in was waist-deep, the sky was brightening, and the early morning heat and humidity was beginning to press in around them. It would be hours before the sun touched the river, but Kylo could see the low light catching in the droplets of water at the ends of Hux’s hair. 

Hux traced a hand down Kylo’s side, resting it on his hip. “I didn’t get a good look at you last night. Turn around for me.”

An impulse struck Kylo then, too powerful to ignore. He kept his facial expression neutral, and obligingly spun around, putting his hands behind his head and flexing his back and shoulder muscles. He turned his head, looking at Hux out of the corner of his eye.

“Like that? Is that what you wanted?”

“Face me,” Hux ordered, more sharply this time. Hux had begun stroking himself idly, his eyes never leaving Kylo.

“Careful with your orders,” Kylo warned, his voice pitched higher, dropping his arms and turning slowly. “I don’t always take them well.”

Hux’s eyes narrowed, and he accepted the challenge. “If you don’t like my orders, you can-”

He didn’t finish, because Kylo lunged, sweeping a leg beneath Hux to knock him off balance, then pushing him backward with one hand into the deepest part of the stream. Hux, completely unprepared for this, shouted and went under.

Kylo smirked, congratulating himself on the surprise, but his amusement faltered as the water stilled and there was no sign of Hux. He didn’t come up after several long moments, and his thrashing below the surface disappeared.

“Shit,” Kylo muttered, diving and plunging his Force awareness into the stream again. It was difficult now that he was panicking. He struggled to focus, to pull himself out of the flow of the water and sense Hux, the struggle-

Without warning, Kylo felt Hux's feet on his back as he was forced to the bottom and Hux pushed off, propelling himself to the surface. Surprised, Kylo opened his mouth and exhaled, struggling to right himself and not let the water into his nose. 

As he planted his hands, he was grabbed around the ankles, then his thighs were over Hux’s shoulders, his belly pressed to Hux’s back and head still underwater as Hux pulled him through the stream. Kylo was losing his breath, having trouble breathing, flailing against the soft grass and the muddy bottom.

Eventually, as the water grew shallower, he forced himself to the surface, and he came up cursing and spluttering. He wiped at his face and attempted to kick at Hux, who only spun around him, forcing him under and to the bottom again.

Hux stood on him for several seconds as Kylo thrashed again, then pushed himself up from the bottom, using enough force even against the mud. Hux did some neat maneuver before Kylo could grab him, and he broke the surface, gasping for breath and blinded by the cascade of water.

He was only gasping for a few seconds before Hux pushed him down again. He stumbled and hit the bottom on his ass, and Hux was there, dragging him by the shoulders out of the water and onto the bank, dropping him with his hips and legs still in the water. In a moment, Hux was straddling him, pushing him down into the mud again.

“You ass,” Kylo said, annoyed. “You can swim.”

Hux was the one grinning now. “I was born on a water planet.”

“Liar,” Kylo muttered, still trying to rub the water from his eyes and coughing it out of his lungs and nose. “You said you grew up on a desert planet."

"We moved to the desert later."

Kylo shook his head, still annoyed, but mostly amused that Hux had trapped him so neatly. It didn't really matter where Hux grew up, or what he could do. Still, some part of Kylo was curious. "Which water planet?”

“Arkanis.”

“Oh.” Kylo paused, looking up at him and coughing a few more times. “The Arkanis sector. That’s where my uncle’s from. Tatooine.”

Hux made a face. “That’s a Hutt-infested desert.”

“I know. I’ve been there.”

Hux pushed Kylo’s hair out of his face, tucking it behind his ears. It was too tender, and the twisting pain in Kylo’s chest grew worse. “I can swim better than you,” he said with satisfaction.

“Not really. You took me by surprise.”

Hux leaned forward, his hands sinking into the mud on either side of Kylo’s hair. “I doubt it. No one from Tatooine can swim.”

“I’m not from Tatooine. Just my uncle.” Kylo’s fingers came up on their own to tuck Hux’s hair behind his ear. The cool drops from the tips were hitting Kylo’s cheeks and running down like tears. Kylo was struck silent for a moment by how stunning he was, how perfect everything about this moment was. He couldn’t say anything, knew in the deepest part of his mind that this was bad, this was all terrible, and it was getting worse by the moment.

The pause was too long, and Hux used it to grab Kylo's wrists and pin them above his head, leaning down and pressing their chests together for a kiss. Hux’s mouth was cold and wet from the river, and he smelled like moldy water and the disgusting ashy soap. He opened his mouth, and tasted like morning breath. 

It shouldn’t have been hot, especially after the dirty talk Hux had managed before this. Still, he flexed his body and let Hux have his way. After a moment, Hux pulled back, studying his face.

“You let me push you around.”

 _Not often_ , Kylo thought. “Yeah. I’m having fun.”

Hux shook his head, and more drops ran from his hair. “No. You’re _allowing_ it. You could throw me off, if you wanted.”

Kylo made a face. “Of course I could.”

Hux held his gaze for several moments. “You’re more dangerous than you let on.”

“I’m a monster,” Kylo said sincerely. Hux had no idea. Not about _Ben_ , and not even about Kylo Ren.

Hux’s expression grew unexpectedly sober. “I’m making a mistake.”

Kylo was struck silent for a moment. _They both were. So fucking much. And for entirely different reasons now_. But since he couldn’t say that, and didn’t even want to think about it, he let his smirk widen. 

“You’re on leave. And you’ve already made the mistake. Are you going to stop now?”

Hux’s expression faltered. Kylo looked at his eyes, colorless in this light. He would remember Hux’s look of surrender for the rest of his life. He would remember everything about this. It was more than the good sex last night. He should stop, he should stop right now. 

He wouldn’t. He couldn’t.

He rolled them over, pushing himself on top of Hux, whose expression immediately hardened.

“I don’t like this.”

Kylo shrugged, leaning up. “Fine. Let me suck your cock.”

“I think one of the slugs got to it first.”

Kylo rolled on his side and looked down. There was indeed a large slug on the inside of Hux’s thigh, stuck just below his hard cock. Kylo could use the Force to kill it, to pinch off its life and flick it back into the river.

He could also, probably, use the Force to remove all of Hux’s memories of the last day. He might have to. He’d been doing that all week, and didn’t really want to do it now. But he’d already invaded Hux’s mind, examined his memories. He loathed himself, but he knew he would do it all, if he had to.

But Kylo would certainly remember everything, and maybe it was better that one of them could give up on this. 

He shouldn’t suck Hux’s cock. He should leave Hux right now, leave him with the tent and supplies, take his armor and lightsaber and catch the next transport out. He should never have allowed himself to see the look Hux was giving him now, with his lips partially open and his teeth visible, somehow still pissy as Kylo slid down his body and pressed Hux's narrow chest deeper into the sucking mud with one hand, positioning himself above Hux's thighs, spread wide.

He dropped his gaze back to the slug. Kylo gripped it between thumb and forefinger and pulled, and pulled, and pulled. He knew from experience they did not let go easily. When it finally did, it was with a sucking noise and a tiny spray of blood. Kylo flung it showily behind him, then put his lips to its bite mark, sucking hard and looking back up at Hux.

Hux’s expression was still far too soft. There was enough light to see that his face was red, and to make out the sunburn across the bridge of his nose. But Hux was nothing if not contrary, and even while staring at Kylo in abject adoration, he wrapped his fingers in Kylo’s wet hair and pulled. “That’s not where I need your mouth.”

Heat surged through Kylo, at the order, at Hux’s voice, at the fingers in his hair, at the shame of being told what to do by _Hux_.

“Armitage,” he murmured, closing his eyes and using his lips and tongue to find the head of Hux’s cock.

* * *

  
The sun had risen more fully, and it was much hotter and brighter once they’d pulled the rest of the slugs off their legs and returned to the tent. The walk back was silent, but Kylo had never developed etiquette for sticking around after a blowjob, and was still trying to half-convince himself that Hux was a stranger that he’d only really need to fuck once and forget. He was also sure that they were both more filthy than they had been when they’d left the tent earlier.

It was Hux that noticed the persistent chime of Kylo’s datapad, Kylo having long ago blocked the noise from his notice.

“Is that an urgent comm?”

Kylo almost snapped at Hux reflexively, also having long ago learned to ignore Hux’s persistent nagging about “urgent comms.” But he stopped himself in time, managing only a glower as he dug along the sides of his mattress, looking for his datapad.

It was indeed an urgent comm. The contents of which caused him to fling the datapad out of the tent, cursing loud and long.

Hux glanced out the entrance, a mild expression on his face, before turning back to Kylo.

“What could that have possibly said to make you so angry?”

“The fucking mission,” he replied shortly, trying hard not to crawl outside and take his temper out on the trees with his lightsaber. “I _did_ it. It took a week, a week of crawling around in the jungle and… control, pretending, and infiltrating, and…” He looked at Hux, then back to his lap. “It was hard, okay? And I’m the only one that could have pulled it off.”

“You… had something to do with the surrender?”

“Surrender, _shit_ ,” Kylo spat. “The second-in-command of the rebels declared Tarran Yessil unfit, and they’ve holed up and defended their compound. _Again_.” Kylo looked through the jungle. “I was done with that. Mission accomplished. I should have left first thing this morning.”

Hux shrugged. “If you did it once, it will be easier the second time.”

Kylo dropped his eyes again. The brief for the new mission had advised that they were on guard for his particular talents. “They know I’m coming now.”

“Well, what did you do last time?”

Kylo glanced up to see that Hux was kneeling next to the mattress, his shirt off and his pants slung low around his hips. He had an earnest look on his face, and seemed genuinely interested in the answer.

Kylo should just tell him. _I used the Force. I used the Force, I’m Kylo Ren the fuck-up, you can take the next transport to the city, thanks._

He couldn’t. He folded his leg beneath him and picked at the edge of his muddy bootheel. “It was an infiltration. I had to… blend in, and go unnoticed. I also had to be persuasive. And not violent.”

Hux exhaled sharply. “I take it the lack of violence is a problem.”

Kylo looked back up, raising his brows. “I’m not who they send in for diplomacy, no.”

Hux frowned, considering. “But you worked alone? You engineered the surrender yourself?”

“Yeah. I convinced Tarran Yessil to surrender." There were any number of ways to 'convince' someone that didn't involve the Force. Kylo's powers were a last resort. "I did everything they asked me.”

Hux was silent for several minutes. Kylo was too. This effectively ended their time together. Kylo found he was reluctant to send Hux away to begin his mission. He was reluctant to begin the mission, period. It required so much control. It was difficult to alter minds as subtly as he was required to. He had to get in and out without killing anyone, which was unfair. That just wasn’t what he did. This was more like a Jedi exercise than what he did for Snoke, or the First Order.

“The first one required you to be clandestine,” Hux finally asked. “Why?”

Kylo had asked this himself. Several times. “They wanted a peaceful handover. It had to look like Tarran Yessil surrendered himself and the cause, or else the war would be picked up by others.”

Hux nodded. “Like his second. Gen Sayzla, if I remember her name correctly?” Kylo nodded. He’d spoken to her a few times during the mission, had already rummaged through her thoughts. _Shit_. This would be impossible. 

“Why wouldn’t they just have Tarran Yessil denounce her, then?” Hux asked, continuing to puzzle the mission through himself. “There must be some reason.”

Tarran Yessil wouldn't be speaking to anyone ever again. Kylo’s control had only lasted through the speech that Yessil had made to end the war, and even then, only barely. Kylo had completely broken his mind. 

“He can’t. He was lost... uh, just after he finished the peace broadcast.”

If Hux was surprised by this, he didn’t show it. “So now you are to do the same to Gen Sayzla?”

Kylo clenched his jaw. “No. This time, it’s a neutralization. But now, the rebel leadership won’t risk leaving their compound for anything, and we know the organization is supplied to last out a months-long siege. So I have to enter and finish her, and I guess anyone else that looks like they’ll step over her corpse to run things.” There were three, Kylo knew who they were, but he could plead ignorance later if they weren’t convenient targets now. “Since it’s an infiltration, I have to go by myself. There’s no exit strategy for me, there never is, so if I fuck up, I can’t get out without taking out their entire army singlehandedly. Also, if I succeed, I have to get myself out alive, by taking out their entire army singlehandedly.”

And that was before the difficult Force control that he needed to blend in. He would need to observe security routines. How they spoke to each other. He would need to be _patient_. And then, he would need to use his powers very controlled and carefully, to take what he needed from people’s minds. He could only knock people out so often, leave only so many people with broken minds around the compound, before they knew he was there. This time, he could probably only do it once. Maybe not even that.

Hux made a noise of consideration. “Do you have a team that assists your infiltration?”

Kylo barked out a bitter laugh. “No. I don’t work well with others.”

“Can you flush Gen Sayzla out of the compound by causing a disturbance? Is that easier?”

Kylo scowled. “Maybe. But that wouldn’t make a difference. The offensive line can’t get close enough to swamp the compound, and there’s nothing I can do by myself.”

Hux met and held his gaze steadily. “I can hit Gen Sayzla from a distance.”

Kylo had to stop himself from a more biting comment. “Are we going on a mission together now? Are we wearing matching uniforms?”

Hux shrugged a shoulder, ignoring his sarcasm. “I can do it.”

Hux’s confidence, again. Kylo forgot how much he hated it when they were working together. He shook his head. “My mission is delta level restricted. I shouldn’t even be telling you about it.”

Hux made a face. “You shouldn’t. Why did you?”

There was nothing that could stop Kylo from rolling his eyes. That was so very _Hux_. “You aren’t a spy for the Pission.”

Hux’s face shifted to its neutral work expression. “You don’t know that.”

“I do.” Kylo sat up, sighing heavily and crawling out of the tent to retrieve the rest of his old clothes. Hux turning back to himself at least gave Kylo motivation to kick him out faster. “Anyway, you aren’t doing this with me. Catch the transport back to town.” Kylo waved over his shoulder dismissively. “Enjoy the rest of your leave.”

Hux’s hand clamped down on his bare shoulder and squeezed. Kylo glanced back, annoyed, to see Hux with the face he made when he wanted his way. “Fine. I’m not a spy. But I want to do this.”

“Why? To prove that you can?”

Hux’s expression hardened further. “Yes.”

Kylo wavered. Of all the possible reasons for this, Kylo wasn’t expecting that Hux needed to prove anything. He had been sure Hux would make this about Kylo needing help, that it was more efficient with two, that he was dedicated to the Order and would see it done. That he could, and it would be easy, which was bantha shit and tied into his confidence.

But to prove that he could? Why did Kylo do anything, if not for that? He didn’t even _like_ the First Order.

Kylo gestured to Hux’s skinny, pale chest with one hand. “Got a long-range rifle in your off-duty gear?

Hux looked annoyed, he withdrew his hand and crossed his arms. “Do you mean to tell me you can’t requisition weapons?”

“I don’t-” He never used blasters. They would ask. But then he shrugged, pushing the thought away. He was authorized to use whatever weapon he pleased. He supposed that included Hux, if he was volunteering.

Resigned, he stood, hunting through the clearing for his discarded datapad to put in the request for the rifle. “Fine. Yeah. I can requisition one. They’ll send a grunt to the settlement with it. What kind do you want?”

“DH-447,” Hux said, sounding pleased with himself. 

Kylo looked out into the swamp, considering the rest of the day. The sun was out, and it was unbearably hot again. It would be miserable no matter what. There wasn’t a good chance he could walk away from this. He should really just take a transport and leave the Order, period. They’d never find him.

He considered that, sucking at his bottom lip. Well, Snoke would find him. Probably. That might be worse.

He turned back to examine Hux, who was once again wearing his neutral work expression, masking his thoughts. Hux’s skin was slick with sweat, though he wasn’t yet in danger of burning - the sun hadn’t made it over the treetops. He was back to being the smug, self-assured soldier that Kylo didn’t like. The afternoon would make Hux miserable too, and taking him would also probably kill him. Kylo didn’t care about that, Hux probably knew more about the risks than Kylo, and made his own decisions.

Did he really want to do this with Hux?

It occurred to Kylo that he wasn’t Hux right now, not really. Just Armitage. And to him, Kylo was just Ben. They could continue to be that for a little while, until whatever happened, happened.

Kylo also realized he didn’t really want to send Armitage away, if he wanted to stay.

He rolled his shoulders, turning back to the tent.

Fine. He’d do this, and if they lived, he would destroy the fucking datapad and smuggle Hux out of here for at least three more days of leave. At least with Hux along, it would be more interesting than last time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I AM SORRY FOR THE TAKEBACK. ;_; I realized that was terrible of me, but there should be more about that next time! Along with the actual mission.


	3. Chapter 3

“I understand why you work alone now. No one else will have you.”

Kylo, re-emerging from the undergrowth at the base of the large Ganto tree that Hux was currently using as his perch, scowled up at him. “You're the one with the jumpy trigger finger. Didn't think approaching my ally would get me shot. And talking defeats the purpose of stealth, in case that wasn’t in your academy classes.”

“I can talk as I like. There’s no one in the area.” Hux sat up from his position on the limb and stretched, looking sweaty, disheveled, and annoyed. It was miserably hot, and they’d been watching the forest for hours. From the spot that they’d chosen, the front entrance to the sprawling, single-story rebel compound was barely visible from Hux’s perch through the trees. But Hux claimed it was all he needed, so Kylo left the decision mostly to him - Kylo's strategic contribution had been choosing the west side of the compound, which was currently the least active area for both sides. They were unlikely to accidentally encounter a skirmish here. More importantly, Kylo really didn't want to accidentally meet the First Order and have to explain himself, and also Hux.

He was beginning to regret bringing Hux for practical reasons, since Hux was so keyed up that this was the second time he'd nearly shot Kylo. It was getting harder for Kylo to pretend it was an 'accident.'

“I told you, you don’t need to watch the compound. They won’t come up this way unless they have a reason.”

“Then what have we been doing all afternoon, if you’re so certain of all this? Is this an exercise in patience before your mission?”

Kylo leaned against the trunk, taking a moment to enjoy the shade and drink water from the canteen from the supply pack they’d hidden in the roots. “I’m verifying the patrol routes, you asshole. And yes, I already knew them. I've been out here for a local week. I need to make sure they didn't change after the leadership transition.”

“Why is it important how they patrol the woods, if you’re going to infiltrate the compound?”

Kylo made a popping sound against the mouth of the canteen as he stared out through the trees, choosing not to answer Hux. It helped to base his Force deceptions in some version of reality - he could go in when a patrol was expected to return, and he wouldn’t have to try as hard at clouding their minds. Luckily, he’d done this recently, so a few hours work was enough to verify what he already knew about the patrols.

“You don’t know anything about infiltration,” he said instead, dismissively.

Hux made an annoyed sound in return. “I only train the army to do it.”

“You do basic. You don’t do battle tactics.”

“You don’t know that.”

Kylo’s eyes widened, and he tipped his head up to look into the tree again, but Hux seemed unfazed by what ‘Ben’ shouldn’t have known. Kylo blundered on, trying to cover the error.

“I told you, you seem like the type.”

“What, not a tactician? I was the one that offered to take out your target.”

Now Kylo was the one that made the annoyed noise, sliding to sit on the ground. “Yeah. You can allegedly take out the target. You wanting to show off is different than you actually wanting to help me.”

“I can leave,” Hux offered. 

Kylo capped the canteen and tossed it back into the pack, annoyed by the offer. “You don’t have anywhere to go.”

He could take the transport back into the main city. It was simple. They both knew it. Neither of them had brought it up.

After they were both silent for an awkward moment, Kylo continued. “The fact that we’re doing this at all is...”

It was dangerous. It was _so_ dangerous. But there weren’t many other options. Kylo couldn’t do this by himself, not after last time, it would be too difficult-

He heard Hux shift above him, and saw him stretched out on the branch, looking down at Kylo, his hair hanging around his face. Kylo was still amazed by how different Hux looked now. In his wilted and smudged off-duty fatigues, his hair a mess and damp with sweat, pieces of leaves and twigs stuck to his clothes, a slight shadow of beard across his pale cheeks, and the rifle strapped across his back, he looked more like a real soldier. Still an officer, still cleaner and more exacting than most. And still vain. When Kylo had suggested he cover his hair and dirty his clothes to camouflage better, Hux insisted that both his hair and his clothes would blend in with the color of the bark and leaves on his chosen perch. Which wasn't wrong, but was still an odd thing to insist on, and would have gotten him laughed off a real mission. On the current mission, Kylo only laughed hard, with Hux scowling at him. But he did look more like he belonged, even with his insistence on vanity.

He also looked more dangerous. It was a good look, and fitting, and Kylo tried not to think about how well it fit him.

“It’s true that you don’t ever work with a team, isn’t it?” Hux asked, and Kylo realized he'd been staring.

The banter made him look away, and reminded him again how much he disliked Hux personally. That was another criticism Hux leveled at him constantly, that _he didn’t know how_. He worked with the Knights, but that was usually on Force business. For Order missions? “No. You saw the arsenal officer that gave me the rifle.”

They’d collected the rifle in Darris. The officer had been slumped against one of the burned-out buildings in First Order-issue fatigues, the sniper rifle in an enormous case next to her, polished and perfect and standing out even more than her uniform. Kylo had stomped quickly from the edge of the forest, snatching the case and shoving it backward at Hux. He wanted the three of them gone as fast as possible.

” _Hey_!”, she’d shouted, when Kylo had grabbed the rifle case. ” _Are you_ -”

” _Give me the kriffing authorization_ ,”, he’d ordered as low and forcefully as possible, yanking her datapad out of the obvious carrier that was slung across her shoulder.

Her hand had been on her blaster, and she’d cursed him until he’d brought up the authorization and matched his biometrics to it, shoving the pad back at her.

” _Yeah, you are_ ,” she’d said suspiciously, and not without some wonder. She’d glanced between the pad and where Kylo had been pushing a very curious Hux into the muddy street, clutching the case to his chest. ” _Who’s he_?”

” _Above your paygrade_.” He'd almost cursed himself for letting that slip out. None of them got paid, it was an old Republican joke that stood out too much. Hux had noticed, but the officer had not.

” _You can’t just_ -”

” _What_?” he’d asked, rounding on her and closing the distance between them again, stretching up to his full height. He’d been a head taller than her. ” _What can’t I do_?”

To her credit, she hadn’t been impressed by the implied threat. Her hard brown eyes had narrowed, and her hand had unholstered her (standard issue, new, obviously Order) blaster.

Kylo had shaken his head. ” _I can do whatever I want._ ” He’d leaned in closer, brought their faces together, and placed his fingers gently against her temple. ” _Ask_.”

That had finally made her think twice. She'd jerked away from his hand and retreated several steps, eyes wide in shock. He’d backed off. Not many knew who he was or would recognize him on a standard mission, and he spoke to few people in any sort of official capacity. He would have preferred to avoid the confrontation. But she’d obviously known his name. And from what he had been told, the most horrific rumors were about his interrogations.

” _Put that fucking blaster away, everyone knows what it is_.” With that, he’d turned back to Hux, who was gaping, and had left Darris as quickly as possible.

“Do you treat all your subordinates that way?” Hux asked now, from the tree, with the disapproving expression Kylo was so familiar with.

“Who says she’s my subordinate?” Kylo replied, standing. Hux began speaking again, obviously trying to decipher that cryptic remark - they all had rank - but Kylo stopped him.

“Fine. I’ve done all the recon I need. I’m going in. I’ll make sure they come out on this side of the compound.” He glanced up into the tree again, where Hux was making the same pinched, disapproving expression. “You have the holo of the target?”

“Yes, I know what the target looks like. I told you, I’ve-”

“Whatever,” Kylo interrupted. Before Hux could harangue him again, he disappeared into the trees.

* * *

In theory, the objective was a simple one. The First Order didn’t need Gen Sayzla to surrender the same way that Tarran Yessil had, because they’d already forced a public surrender. Kylo just needed to get in and execute Sayzla. He could do that, he didn’t need Hux for that.

What he couldn’t do was fight the whole damn compound singlehandedly to escape once he’d terminated her. He was good, but not that good, and it would only take a handful of soldiers with blasters to stop him. Especially since he’d decided to not wear his armor, which was stupid. He never wore his helmet during this type of mission, it was too hard to convince people that they didn’t see it. But the body armor could go on underneath clothing, and would stop him from being shot, if he missed something.

But Hux would recognize his body armor, because it was custom, and he’d complained about the expense more than once.

Kylo hated himself.

The First Order didn’t particularly care about his escape method, as long as Gen Sayzla was dead, so unless he could cut a hole in the kriffing wall immediately after he did it (not an option - meeting rooms were always in the centers of these compounds), Hux was his best bet at escaping.

The plan they’d put together (which was mostly Hux’s plan, and developed without a lot of input from Kylo) was for Kylo to infiltrate the compound, seal all but one door, and begin destroying it in a way that would flush out everyone inside. Hux assumed he had brought explosives as part of his entry kit. He had not. Kylo would set off the alarm system, then begin collapsing sections of the building himself. He could do that with the Force - it was raw power, and wouldn’t require control or mind games or any sort of finesse. He loved doing that.

The plan had gone wrong in several ways, once he had begun to execute it. One was that the native Tafali were smaller humans than Kylo, and Kylo stood out almost as much as a nonhuman would have. The guard patrol he’d disabled on the way in had the largest human he’d seen that day, and the uniform he’d stolen from the body still looked ridiculous on him, even without the extra layer of armor. Every seam on the shirt had felt as if it would tear simultaneously. The pants were too short. There had been no hope for the boots, and he’d had to keep his own. Some of the uniforms were sleeveless, and he’d immediately modified his and hoped for the best.

He could mind-trick people into believing he was a soldier for the Pission rebellion, but it worked best if they could believe it. Kylo, a foot too tall, in half a uniform that would rip apart if he breathed wrong, stood out too much. It had taken too long to force the thought into people’s heads, and the delays had meant that more people saw him, and were confused about what Kylo was doing in the compound. Only his building anger and frustration had given him enough strength and control to push the deception into first the individual minds, then several at once. As much as he tried to avoid having to use Force suggestion on so many people, part of him always felt satisfaction that the short temper his mother and uncle Luke had tried to train out of him was a strength.

There were only two exits out of the compound, a main entrance and a vehicle port, and Kylo had sealed the rolling metal security doors on the port side without incident. Executing all the mechanic and pilot personnel, forcing the doors shut, and destroying the locking mechanisms had all been relatively easy. Sloppy, but none of it had to hold for long.

Collapsing the building, then setting off the alarm, didn’t require mind tricks. No one had understood that Kylo was responsible, so stealth had been unnecessary once the rebels started panicking. And it had been perfectly natural for him to trip the alarm once the building started coming down.

Confusion was always easy. When people were confused, they stopped looking at him. He’d collapsed more sections of the compound, starting at the port and working toward the center of the structure.

It had all gone so well, until he had actually run into Gen Sayzla and her entourage while elbowing through the crowds surging through the halls. He’d made the mistake of freezing, which made him stand out even more, and then had reflexively grabbed for his lightsaber.

Gen Sayzla had been surrounded by guerrilla soldiers, panicking rebels, and strobing emergency lights. Kylo hadn’t seen where the shot had come from. He’d hit the floor, and someone had immediately tripped over his legs. He’d been certain he had been about to die. He’d had no self-reflection or illusions about this, had felt no particular way about it at all. He’d abandoned most of what he’d been taught before Snoke, but he had always felt sure that death was becoming one with the Force. If so, it would give him peace, and stop the terrible sense of being torn apart he’d always had.

No such luck. He woke up, splayed on a warm concrete floor, replaying his failure over and over again to orient himself before he opened his eyes. Stun shot. They'd kept him alive, for some reason. If they wanted to ransom him, they would be disappointed. If they wanted to interrogate him to reveal his secrets, they would be in for a rude awakening. It took a moment for his vision to clear before he recognized he was in a holding cell of some kind.

He groaned aloud, sitting up. His muscles ached from the stun, but he'd been hit by stun bolts before. His lightsaber was gone, of course. His clothes were still too tight. As he blinked blearily and looked through the primitive bars into the plain room beyond, he grabbed the bottom of his shirt, the fabric tearing as he rolled it carelessly over his head.

“Must you?”

Kylo jumped, then turned around, noticing Hux for the first time. He was sitting on a bench in the cell behind him, his knees pulled up to his chest, his arms wrapped around them, a furious expression on his face.

“They got you, too?”

“No, I escaped undetected.”

Kylo blinked, ignoring this. “How did they find you?”

“How do you think? Most of the compound evacuated into the forest before Gen Sayzla. When I took the shot, the soldiers were all over the jungle. One of them must have seen me.”

Kylo wasn’t sure why Gen Sayzla had even left the compound, once they’d found him. Maybe they hadn’t been certain he was alone. “Did you get her?”

“Of course I did! I told you, I’m an excellent shot. One hundred percent success rate.”

“Congratulations. I’ll be sure to enter a commendation in your file when we leave.” Kylo laid back down on the unpleasantly warm floor, stretching out and closing his eyes. “Did they get the rifle?”

Hux made a noise. “Is that really what you’re worried about now?”

“Destruction of Order property is-” He stopped himself, opening his eyes and rolling his head to Hux, who was frowning down at him.

“Have trouble with that, do you?” Hux rolled his eyes. “I don’t think the rifle will be a problem. We won’t leave here alive.”

Kylo shrugged. “I think the First Order cares more about the rifle. They weren’t very worried about my life, if you couldn’t tell from the brief. You were the one that wanted to help.”

Hux dropped his feet to the floor, leaning back against the wall behind the bench and closing his eyes. “I hadn’t expected my life to end in a rebel prison cell.”

Kylo wondered how Hux had imagined himself dying. At the end of some officer’s blaster, betrayed? He didn’t ask. “You mean you weren’t expecting to die on a sniper mission you volunteered for while on leave?”

Hux snorted, but remained silent. Kylo closed his eyes again. 

“I’m sorry,” he murmured softly, wondering if it was even loud enough for Hux to hear. It was.

“You don’t-”

The main door to the room slammed open before Hux could finish, and Kylo sat up again, looking up to the men through the bars from his position on the floor, carelessly leaning back on his hands, legs stretched in front of him. Three men entered, the one in the center wearing a cleaner, more official-looking uniform than the other two, who were armed and wearing helmets. Grunts, by the look of them, meant to intimidate.

The trio stopped in front of the cell, and the man in the center peered at them and smirked. Kylo glowered up at him, letting him break the silence first. It was obvious he wanted to.

“So. I’m told we captured the great Kylo Ren of the First Order. Are the rumors true?”

Kylo’s blood ran cold. How had they gotten the intel? The brief mentioned that they’d been alerted to his presence in the area, but they shouldn’t have-

Hux made a derisive noise behind him. “This isn’t Kylo Ren.”

Kylo’s head whipped around. Hux glanced carelessly down to him, then looked back to the man outside the bars. “I work with Kylo Ren.” He shrugged casually. “This isn’t him.”

“No?” The rebel pulled a hand from behind his back, holding up Kylo’s lightsaber. Asshole. “Who else carries a lightsaber?”

Hux glanced at Kylo again, expression unreadable, then back at the man. “Standard issue for members of black ops.”

The man looked so pleased with himself. Kylo knew him - Traf Reni, some minor figure in their hierarchy, one of the optional targets mentioned in his mission brief. It looked as if the First Order leadership had been correct about him being eager to snatch the rebel leader position in the event of Gen Sayzla’s death. He was a poor substitute for her, Kylo knew from his previous week of work. Quick-tempered, and from Kylo’s forays into his thoughts, he knew that Traf didn’t believe in the cause, but saw himself in the leadership position once the war was over. He was useless, but the rebels would follow him for a time, and it would make the long, expensive war longer.

Traf held Kylo’s gaze for a moment, then activated the lightsaber. Kylo closed his eyes, exasperated. This was painful. He heard the unstable hiss of the blade, the sound of the quillions kicking back. He opened his eyes, taking in the hilt, the loose wiring, the whole sloppy package. There was no way Hux would continue to let himself be fooled sober, in broad daylight, when confronted with it.

“This weapon is unique. Do you not feature your Kylo Ren heavily in your propaganda with this weapon?”

Hux hesitated, but continued his denial, obviously too stubborn to concede the truth. “That’s what the black ops lightsabers look like.” He sounded confident, though Kylo knew that not even Hux really believed that lie.

Traf deactivated it, looking disgusted, then looked back down to Kylo. “We have almost a week's worth of footage of you hiding in our main compound. A long time to go undetected, for someone of your size.”

Kylo hesitated for only a moment. Really, there was no good way out of this situation, and the solution occurred to him in a flash. He put out a palm, yanking the hilt of his lightsaber from Traf’s surprised grip, then sprung up, using his other palm to yank all three rebels hard against the bars of the cell.

In the moment of stunned disorientation from the blow against the bars, Kylo activated the lightsaber, spearing them all cleanly through the throat and dropping their bodies to the floor. There was no blood - lightsaber wounds cauterized almost immediately, something that still fascinated Kylo - but they could not speak, and Kylo had severed the arteries in their neck. Brain death would happen shortly. He felt one life snap out almost immediately, presumably from shock.

He pointedly didn’t look at Hux. He swiped his lightsaber through the lock near the edge of the cell door, then pushed it forward, shoving against the bodies on the floor until it opened. He gestured angrily to the soldiers, then turned to Hux.

“Put on his uniform. Cover your hair with his hat.” The leader wasn’t tall, but he had the same narrow build as Hux, and Kylo guessed that the uniform would look only slightly ill-fitting. Kylo scooped a helmet from one of the soldiers, placing it over his own head, then assessed the other two bodies. Nothing to be done about his own clothes, and he didn’t want to bother with a shirt again. He might be able to escape the compound shirtless, he could probably make the deceptions hold at least that well. He was certainly angry enough for it, having been caught so badly in his lie. 

_What did you think would happen?_ Nothing. He hadn’t thought at all, and here they were. He clapped a hand to his neck, momentarily too aware of all the bites and bruises Hux had given him the night before. He was going to escape from the Tafali rebel compound shirtless, with fucking love bites all over him, which might draw more attention than being shirtless.

 _Shit_. Well. Either his stupidity would kill him, or it wouldn't.

Kylo clipped his lightsaber back on his belt, then grabbed a rifle from one of the downed grunts.

When he turned back, Hux was staring at him. They couldn’t do this now, so Kylo tossed him the rifle and shouted at him.

“Get changed! It'll be a few minutes before anyone checks in here, and leaving the compound will be easier if we’re dressed for it.”

“Ben?” Hux asked, instead of acting sensibly.

Kylo closed his eyes for a moment, then gestured back to the bodies. “Hurry,” he hissed. “It’ll be hard enough to get out while everyone’s still on alert from earlier. Move, and we’ll talk outside.”

That, at least, got Hux moving, and Kylo watched, distracted, as Hux began peeling his muddy off-duty Order gear off his body. Hux lingered a moment too long on the shirt, looking regretful, barechested and with his dogtags around his neck. Kylo snapped his fingers.

"I'll buy you new ones if we live, just-"

The door banged open, and Kylo froze, wincing. They shouldn't have appeared that fast. He spun quickly, palms out, but the group entering was too fast, or too lucky. There were four guards. Two of them stared slack-jawed at the bodies on the floor, but the other two had their rifles trained on Kylo, too close to block or redirect the bolts. Their reaction time also suggested they might shoot before Kylo had time to use the Force. He raised his hands, hoping to stall for opportunity.

One of the slow guards turned from the bodies, comprehension dawning on their face as they took in Kylo Ren. "You killed them. You killed-"

Four shots rang out from behind him, and Kylo jumped. One bolt had passed close enough to his face that he could feel the heat against his cheek and smell burning hair as it passed him. He impassively watched the four bodies fall, then turned, hands still up, to face Hux.

Hux was behind him, still barechested, with the rifle braced against one shoulder. He was aiming it at Kylo, staring down the barrel. Kylo exhaled, wishing he was less fascinated by the image. But with his hair a mess, his pants slung low on his hips, and the ancient rifle braced and ready again, Hux looked exactly like the kind of cheesecake recruitment poster Kylo had seen from the Imperial era, recruiting for the Emperor's armies. He'd always laughed at them, wondering how anyone would fall for it. 

Well. Now he knew.

"Is this really what you want to do?" Kylo asked, managing to remain calm. He held Hux's angry gaze. "You don't strike me as the type who impulsively kills someone you'd rather see suffer."

Hux's face twisted, and the barrel of the blaster lowered. Unexpectedly, Hux fired it again, and Kylo jumped. This time, the blaster singed the fabric of his borrowed uniform pants, just at the thigh, and he felt the tingle of the burn against his skin.

"I'm not," Hux finally said, setting the butt-end of the rifle down on the floor and leaning it against his leg as he pulled on a uniform shirt. Once he had it on, he held Kylo's gaze again. "You will explain."

Kylo lowered his hands, shrugging. "Sure. We'll talk. But we have to get out of here before the entire compound is on us again. _Finish_ , sometime today, please. We need to look as much like the rebel soldiers as we can. I'll try to use the Force to redirect their attention. It's the only way either of us will get out of here alive."

This seemed to satisfy Hux. Within moments, they were both as close to looking like Pission soldiers as they were going to get, and Kylo let Hux set the pace out of the compound. Kylo only had to use three minor misdirections when eyes landed on them - with Hux in the lead, the weapons, helmet, unhurried pace, and the semi-agitation the base was still experiencing from the partial collapse all worked in their favor. Their height and unfamiliar faces went almost unnoticed, and busy minds were easy to move to something else.

There was still no audible alarm after nearly ten minutes of wading through the forest. Kylo wanted to go back to the sniper perch to see if any of their supplies were still there, but he knew it would be a stupid risk. He needed a comm, which was back at his campsite. Hux’s had probably been stolen, along with the rifle. He’d have to-

Without warning, Hux grabbed him, slamming Kylo into a tree by his bare shoulder. The bark bit into the sweat-slicked skin of his back, and Hux’s fingers were hard points in the meat of his shoulder.

“Who are you?”

Kylo’s heart was slamming in his chest. He could throw Hux off, toss him into the underbrush of the forest and leave him here. Hux would be okay, and they would avoid this conversation. Kylo could take the memories away, and lead him back to Darris. Kylo could make Hux think he’d been unconscious in the compound, and tell him that ‘Ben’ had rescued him. They could continue what they were doing before. Hux would never know.

“Ben,” Hux interrupted Kylo’s panicked thoughts, voice hard, leaning in. His jaw flexed, and his usual careful expression was lost completely to fury. “Why are you a Force user?”

Kylo wrapped a hand around Hux’s wrist, getting angry himself. Trust Hux to blame anyone but himself. “Runs in the family. A gift. Or would you rather pretend that all Black Ops operatives are Force-sensitive?”

Hux’s other hand came up, yanking Kylo’s hair and baring his throat. “You knew. You knew the whole time, and didn’t tell me.”

“You knew too, _Hux_ ,” Kylo all but hissed, tugging against the hand in his hair. Hux flinched at the name, and Kylo grinned, showing his teeth. “You knew the whole time too. You didn’t want to know. I could sense you lying to yourself.”

Hux blinked rapidly, at a momentary loss for words. It didn’t last long. His hand tightened, and he was confident and angry again. “Say it. Say it for both of us.”

“Major Hux. I’m surprised to see you here, in this active war zone. I’m Kylo Ren. I didn’t know you used your shore leave to run away from yourself. Says a lot, doesn’t it? Anyway, nice cock, nice technique, all of that.”

Hux’s expression grew more weary as Kylo’s insults hit home, one by one. “What am I supposed to say to that?”

“I don’t know.” Kylo shoved Hux, and Hux took a step back, his hands falling away. “What did you have in mind, when you decided to finally ask me about it?”

Hux shook his head, his fists clenching at his sides, his filthy nails digging into his palms. “You took advantage.”

“Took advantage?” Kylo raised his palm, and Hux was propelled several meters backwards, his back striking a nearby tree trunk. Kylo closed the distance between them with slow steps, his hands behind his back.

“This is me taking advantage.” He leaned in close and ran his tongue up the side of Hux’s neck, tasting the salt-sweat of his skin. He gently nibbled his earlobe, exhaled into his ear, then braced his hands on either side of Hux’s head, holding himself just barely apart from Hux’s immobile body. Hux was breathing hard, and Kylo could feel him almost shake with the effort to control his reaction to Kylo’s mouth. “Taking advantage would be me keeping you here, and promising I’d take everything away when we were done.”

Hux’s eyes widened. “You mean… you’d change my memories?”

“It’s what I do in interrogations. It’s what I did to Terran Yessel.” Well, that had been ungentle, but the same idea. Kylo thinned his lips, something twisting in his chest at the thought of having to do the same thing to Hux that he'd done to Terran Yessel, and he wished he’d ended this the first night.

He needed to do it. He needed to do it carefully, but that’s what should happen here. It was the right thing for both of them. Kylo could do it now, and Hux would never know, or remember. A full minute passed while Kylo told himself this, over and over. Finally, he licked his lips and spoke.

“Is that what you want?” he asked, hating himself for even offering Hux the choice.

Hux held his gaze. “You’d make me forget all of it? Or just that I know your name?”

Kylo looked down, backing away, hating everything about the situation, this conversation. He’d fucked up a mission, been captured, very nearly died, and escaped. His reward was… this.

“I’d take all of it. I’m not that good.”

Hux struggled against the tree for a moment, looking miserable. Kylo still had him pinned to the trunk with the Force, and yet Kylo was the one that felt trapped. 

“Otherwise, I’ll remember,” Hux stated flatly. “All of it.”

Kylo turned around, taking several steps away from Hux, not looking at him. “Yeah.”

“Every time I look at you.”

Kylo sat down in the slightly damp leaf detritus on the forest floor. He was still furious, and anxious, wishing more than anything that they could go back to this morning, that Hux really had been nobody, that they didn’t know each other. “Every time.”

There was silence. Terrible silence. Kylo very nearly stood to do it anyway, before Hux could make his own decision. But Hux finally spoke, ending the agony.

“Then I’ll remember. Every time I look at you.”

Kylo turned around, leaning on one arm, incredulous. “You can’t be serious. You hate me. You don’t want-” He gestured between them. “Any of this.”

Which was really the worst part of this conversation. That it wasn’t just the identity deception. It was the part that they weren’t taking about, the thing that Kylo realized Hux felt too. That they were strangely drawn together, that they’d probably want more of whatever this was. He knew that it wasn’t just his feelings, that Hux matched him in a horrible way that Kylo wished wasn’t true, and probably Hux did as well. But. Here they were. Talking about it.

Hux’s face had relaxed into his more natural neutral expression. “Did you misunderstand me? I said I did.”

Kylo stared at him. There was only one question that repeated itself over and over again, and it was for both Hux and himself. His heart was in his throat, but he managed to ask it. It came out firmer than he would have believed possible. A real question, not just a way to make Hux explain what Kylo didn’t want to say.

“Why?”

“Let me down,” Hux said sharply, struggling against the tree trunk again.

Kylo eyed him warily, part of him concerned about Hux’s motives for being free. Knowing Hux, and the rumors about him, Kylo should probably push into his thoughts to make sure he wasn’t planning on killing Kylo in retaliation for the time they’d spent pretending. 

But he was tired. From the mission, and from the last mission, from this whole fucking planet and everything else. He couldn’t bring himself to do it, if he wasn’t taking Hux’s memories at the same time. 

Still. Better safe. And Hux didn’t have to know how tired he was.

“Tell me first,” Kylo said, shifting to sit on the ground facing Hux, legs folded in front of himself, hands folded neatly in his lap. He was still shirtless, but it was so hot that Kylo felt more relieved than ridiculous.

Hux’s expression was momentarily stricken, before shifting to a carefully controlled neutral.

“Tell you what?”

“Don’t be coy. You know what. Why do you want to keep your memories?”

Hux huffed, more his familiar self than ever now, and it was grating on Kylo’s nerves. “Did it occur to you, Kylo Ren, that I may not want to be treated like one of your common traitors?”

Kylo frowned. That wasn’t what he wanted to hear. He stood, strolling over to Hux again, standing just in front of him.

“Is that what you think? That I’d treat you like one of my interrogation subjects?” He leaned in very close to Hux’s ear again. “That’s a very naughty fantasy you have, Major.” He pulled back. Hux’s face was bright red again. “And I don’t believe you. That’s not why.”

“You are a fucking _monster_ ,” Hux spat, straining against the Force hold again. 

“Yes I am,” Kylo said, smirking again, strangely unbothered by the insult.

“Fine! Let me go, and I’ll tell you.”

Kylo considered Hux again, who grew more obviously frustrated the longer Kylo stared at him. Eventually, Kylo took several steps back, sitting once again to face him. He should be careful, but when had he ever done that? 

With a sharp gesture, Hux was free. Hux rubbed his arms in disbelief for a moment, then, still furious, crossed the distance between them. Kylo leaned back on his hands, half waiting for a confrontation, and half curious about what Hux was going to say.

“You are infuriating,” Hux began, crossing his arms and standing over Kylo, which was not a promising start. “And you’re a waste of your talents. You’re here, and you…”

Hux trailed off, but the stern expression on his face never changed. Kylo raised his eyebrows. “I.. what, Hux? Accomplish my missions? Save my own life? Use my powers to seduce the locals? If you hadn’t noticed, I tried hard to hide all that from you. I didn’t want to talk about any of it, even when you asked. I still don’t. So if this is going to be the usual dressing-down about being a waste of a human being, just fucking skip it.”

Kylo began pushing himself up, angry, but mostly disappointed. Disappointed in Hux, for being the same as always, and disappointed in himself for expecting anything different.

He was interrupted when Hux crouched down, placing a firm palm against Kylo’s sweat-slick chest. Kylo glanced in surprise at Hux’s hand, and back into his face, which was still angry-looking.

“No. None of that. You’re here, and you…” Hux trailed off again, and used his free hand to push his hair from his forehead, looking more frustrated. “Under all your armor and threats and apathy, you’re…”

“A monster?”

“Just a man,” Hux said finally. “You’re different, when you’re not Kylo Ren.”

 _You’re drawn to the Light_ , Snoke’s voice repeated in the back of his thoughts. _And you must seek the Dark Side in all things._ Kylo always had to fight himself. That wasn’t at all what he’d expected Hux to say, but it was fucking true, no matter how much Kylo didn’t want it to be.

“Yeah. I’m so fucking tired, when I’m not Kylo Ren,” Kylo blurted, finally laying back down, pillowing his head on his arms and closing his eyes. His pulse was racing now, and he couldn’t look at Hux and say the next thing. “You’re different too, when you’re not the Order’s Best Major and are just Armitage.”

“Yes, well,” Hux muttered, tracing a scar with a finger along Kylo’s ribcage. The nerves were deadened, and Kylo felt it as a faint tingling against his skin, almost imperceptible. “Sometimes Major Hux gets tiresome, and Armitage has more friends.”

Kylo opened his eyes, unable to help himself. “Does he? You were fucking awful, if you were trying to pick me up in that bar.”

Hux narrowed his eyes, and his hand paused on Kylo’s chest, over his heart. “You were the one picking me up.”

“I thought you were too drunk to remember.”

Hux huffed again, and knelt in the leaves next to Kylo, idly playing with Kylo’s nipple until it perked up. “I was, mostly. Ridiculously so. Do you think I’d go to that outpost at all sober? I would have commandeered the transport to return to the port.”

“Hmm. So you didn’t know who I was that first night,” Kylo mused, closing his eyes again to focus on the sensation of Hux’s fingers on him, the heat that radiated through his chest with the teasing. “You said you did.”

“Oh, I did. I recognized your voice, even without the helmet. How many people do you think I’ve met that have a Basic Republican accent?”

“ _Shit_ ,” Kylo muttered, realizing that Hux was probably right about that. Especially this far out, most of the Basic-speakers had a heavy Rimmer, Bocce, or Sy Bisti accent. Republican refugees were extremely rare.

“You also have a contrariness that is hard to mistake,” Hux added. “Even when I’m insensibly drunk.”

“But you still told yourself it wasn’t me.”

Hux’s hand left his body. “Of course. I assumed Kylo Ren would have recognized me. I also assumed, apparently incorrectly, that Kylo Ren wouldn’t sleep with me.” 

Kylo opened his eyes, amused. “And you kept telling yourself it wasn’t me, even when you saw I had my own lightsaber.”

Hux’s lips thinned, and he sat back, wrapping his arms around his legs. “When you approached me, in the bar yesterday-”

 _Yesterday_? Had it really only been a single day? Two?

“-was it a game? Did you only want to see how good I was in bed? Find some problem with me, socially?”

Kylo frowned, propping himself up on his elbows again. “No. I almost didn’t recognize you, without-” He gestured, to Hux’s hair, and then his clothes. “You were different. I didn’t realize until you turned around.”

“And you continued.”

Kylo shrugged, looking away. “I knew you didn’t recognize me. I wanted to see if you eventually would.”

“Well. I decided not to.”

Kylo met his gaze again. “But you said something. Later that night.”

This time, it was Hux that looked away. “I was drunk. I don’t remember that.”

“But you knew.”

Hux met his eyes again, leaning up, positioning himself over Kylo, running a filthy hand over his chest again. Kylo focused again on the dirt and gun oil under his nails, tried to imagine Hux’s hands like that under his usual gloves. 

“I suppose I did know,” Hux said eventually.

“And you stayed.”

“I did.”

Kylo tried to ask his question again, as Hux’s fingertips brushed over the divot of his bellybutton, then moved to the trail of hair that led into the tight waistband of his pants. 

“Why?”

Hux was silent for another long moment. Eventually, he rolled onto his side, stretching out, with his head propped on his arm.

“The same reason you didn’t send me away the next morning, I expect.”

Kylo turned his head away for a moment. He couldn’t say it. He supposed Hux couldn’t say it either. Loneliness, maybe, and then the right kind of meeting. It was hard to give up. It was easier to think of it that way, that they were both lonely, rather than the other thing that Kylo was worried about.

Rather than saying anything, he leaned up, putting his hand to the back of Hux’s head and pulling him closer for a kiss, slow and hot, something that Kylo never allowed himself with his other partners. But it felt good with Hux, it felt _right_ , and Kylo felt the ease of it spread through his entire body. He enjoyed the feel of Hux’s lips, the heat of his mouth, the slight prickle of his unshaven chin against Kylo’s own. He liked all of it, and wanted more.

When Hux’s fingers began fumbling at the too-tight waistband of Kylo’s borrowed pants, he broke the kiss long enough to grab his wrists and speak. “Tent.”

Hux made a face. “Ben, if I have to think about this on the way to the tent, I’m going to leave when I get there.”

Kylo ignored the _Ben,_ and what that did to him. “Leave? Do you even know where we are?”

Hux grunted. “Sounding more like yourself won’t help.”

“You were ignoring it before, just keep doing that.”

Kylo knew what he meant, but he also didn’t think he could handle a rough fuck on the forest floor, and part of him was worried that this would be the last time. They had to use the tent, with the too-small mattress and dwindling supply of lube. Kylo stood, offering Hux his hand. Hux looked at his hand mistrustfully, but eventually rose and clasped it. His palm was soft and dry, unlike Kylo’s, which was calloused from his sword and damp with nervous sweat.

Ridiculous. He hadn’t been this worried about the mission he’d just completed. But he’d also been too distracted by Hux to think about it.

He guided Hux silently through the forest. It was difficult to navigate - though it was still the middle of the long, miserable day cycle, none of the suns were visible over the forest canopy, and Kylo had to use the Force to sense the strong pull of the river near the campsite.

Hux remained silent as they moved through the underbrush. Kylo kept his grip on Hux’s hand, but because he was pulling on the Force to sense the river, he could also sense Hux’s building hesitance and mistrust. Hux’s silence pushed Kylo’s desire away, then stoked his temper. 

Hux was thinking about it, and deciding not to.

When they reached the tiny cave where Kylo had placed his campsite, he dropped his hold on the Force, cutting off his awareness of both the nearby river and Hux’s mistrust. He dropped Hux’s hand and turned to face him, furious.

“Well?”

Hux’s expression was a careful blank, once again more Major Hux than Armitage. “Well what? You know we can’t do this. It’s better to forget-”

“Coward.”

Kylo was angry, and certainly meant to insult Hux, but he hadn’t intended that insult to hit home quite as it did. Hux’s face twisted into ugly fury, his anger so strong that Kylo could practically taste it through the Force without trying. Hux became aggressive again, shoving Kylo against the side of the rock wall that formed the cave hard enough for the rough stone to scrape against his skin, Hux's fingers digging into Kylo’s sweaty shoulders.

“I am not a coward,” Hux hissed, only centimeters from Kylo’s face, completely lost to rage.

Kylo was stunned to silence for only a moment by the reaction. Rage was something Kylo Ren knew well, and he could use that. He smiled slowly, tipping his head back to look down his nose at Hux.

“No? You seem a little upset, for someone who’s running away. Is that something you hear often?” Hux looked apoplectic, and Kylo sucked in a breath, enjoying this. He remembered some rumors he’d heard about Hux, and repeated them. 

“Something your father says? When he tells the other officers that you only have your position because he gave it to you?”

“ _My father is dead_ ,” Hux murmured, dangerously, shoving a knee between Kylo’s thighs. 

Kylo squirmed. He wanted Hux angry, because Hux would have something to prove if he was angry, and he wouldn’t leave. He’d heard another rumor about General Brendol Hux, one he’d been curious about. He gambled, deciding now was the time to ask.

“He is dead, isn’t he? I never told you how sorry I was about that.” Kylo leaned forward slightly, bringing up one hand to caress Hux’s rough, unshaven right cheek as he whispered into his left ear. “I felt it, Hux.”

Hux stiffened next to him, the rage abruptly extinguished and replaced with tense weariness.

“What?”

Kylo paused. He wasn't sure how Hux would react, but was too carried away by this idea. “I felt it. I felt the truth. I can see it, just here.” His fingertips drifted up to Hux’s temple. This wasn’t true, but it was something he told Hux often onboard the ship. “You did it,” he whispered, tone as light as he could make it.

“You’re lying. You can’t see that.”

“Can’t I?” He leaned back, looking Hux in the eye. This was familiar ground. What they always said to each other. Kylo claiming he knew something ridiculous was true because of the Force, and Hux accusing him of lying. It would happen again. They’d both think of this moment when it did.

Kylo grinned, showing his teeth, and rubbed himself against Hux’s thigh, his pants far too tight for the erection he was developing.

Hux’s face crumpled, and while Kylo had only heard petty gossip about Hux murdering his father via a baroque imitation of a terminal disease, he knew now that it was true, and he also knew he shared that knowledge with Hux now, and Hux wouldn’t walk away.

Hux recovered enough to look angry again for a moment, but instead of replying, he leaned forward and kissed Kylo again. Kylo made a sound of encouragement as he closed his eyes and put both palms to Hux’s cheeks, dragging his hands back to rake through the wreck of his hair, his thumbs framing his jaw.

Hux pushed closer, his hands moving lower and cradling the back of Kylo’s ass through the tight pants. He brought their hips together, and Kylo could feel Hux rutting against his thigh, the slow, rhythmic motion he was using to pleasure himself against Kylo’s firm muscle.

“I can think of an easier way to do that,” Kylo murmured, pulling back slightly.

“I know you,” Hux said, taking two steps back, looking fully recovered and more smug now. “You like to do everything the hard way.”

Kylo frowned. It was something else Hux always said to him. But before Kylo could find the insult in it, Hux waved his hand vaguely at the entrance to the cave.

“Lubricant.”

“What?” Kylo asked, more confused now. "Are you going to get it?"

Hux made the same gesture, more impatient this time. “No. I know you can magic it out here.”

“That’s not what the Force is for!” Kylo said defensively.

“Oh?” Hux arched a brow. “You’d rather use it to root around in my thoughts to coerce me into fucking you?”

Kylo turned away. He couldn’t deny it without betraying the fact that he couldn’t, and he thinned his mouth as he stared at the opening of the cave.

It really was blasphemous, he thought to himself as he pictured the bottle of lube, discarded and stuffed in its own sticky residue alongside the mattress. Both the fact that Kylo consented to this at all, and could picture the sticky remains of the bottle well enough to conjure it the several feet to his hand at the entrance, were evidence of Hux’s excellent performance the night before.

The sticky bottle collided with his palm, and Kylo opened his eyes and shoved it at Hux’s chest. “Make it worth my while.”

“Fine. Don’t waste time.” Hux's voice sounded more normal, demanding efficiency, giving _orders_. Where Kylo would normally chafe at orders, now it made him shiver, the urge to protest dying in his mouth as he hurriedly yanked his boots off, then unfastened his belt and peeled the pants off his thighs and calves, making himself as naked as possible.

“Very nice. Stand just there.” Hux gestured to a gap in the rock wall further down. The rock face recessed a few feet just above the level of Kylo’s waist, making a smooth shelf of hot rock. He winced as he sat on it, letting his skin grow used to the heat of the warmed stone.

Hux was more precise about removing his borrowed uniform, slowly undoing the buttons, shrugging the shirt off his shoulders, then carefully folding it before tossing it on the ground. Kylo couldn’t tell if this was for his benefit, or just a compulsion.

“I thought you were in a hurry,” Kylo offered.

“When did I say that?”

“When you were humping my thigh.”

Hux gave him a mild look as he carefully removed, then coiled his belt. “I was enjoying myself. You were the one in a hurry.”

“Are you being an asshole, or are you putting on some kind of show?”

“Getting everything out in the open has improved the level of your seduction.”

Kylo huffed. “Hurry up. You’re going to get a sunburn on your ass if you’re out here for longer than a minute.”

“Fine. We’ll go fast.” Hux opened the front of his pants, then slicked himself, pumping his swollen cock several times before tossing Kylo the small, nearly empty bottle. “Take care of yourself, then. You can do all the work.”

Kylo let out an exasperated sigh, then slid forward on the rock shelf, relishing the way the grit bit into the bare skin of his back. It would chafe wonderfully, and Kylo would feel it for days.

He braced his feet so that his legs were spread, showing off for Hux, whose expression slackened to hunger as Kylo fingered himself open slowly. He wasn’t overly tight, and enjoyed doing this, so he purposely used too much lube, letting it pool beneath him. He made a point to exaggerate the squelching sounds as he pulled on his own rim, using one, then quickly two of his own big fingers on himself.

His angle was poor, and he was laying on a fucking boulder, so it wasn’t as good as it could have been, but he was satisfied when Hux’s hands stilled before he pulled his boots off, Hux staring openly as Kylo began using his thumb to massage just under his balls, then began stroking inside himself with more purpose, sending the shocks jerking through his whole body, making quiet noises that would be impossible for Hux to ignore.

“I can go without you, if you want,” Kylo said, managing to keep the excitement out of his voice, though it didn’t come out as the insult that he’d intended. Rather, it sounded like an offer to let Hux watch.

Hux glanced back up at his face, his expression twisting as Kylo could see the thoughts racing. He imagined Hux's thoughts resembled his own - he liked this, he liked their time together. This was good. But Kylo was Kylo, and Hux was Hux.

Still.

Hux pushed his pants down, not bothering to remove his boots and pull them all the way off, then took two short steps forward, seizing Kylo’s big thighs and lifting him up. 

Kylo helped, bracing himself against the rock shelf and squeezing Hux’s chest between his thighs as Hux fumbled with his own throbbing cock, guiding it inside Kylo with no effort whatsoever. 

Not too tight, not too slow or too fast. He did it _so well_ , better than Kylo had experienced before, better than Kylo’s own fingers, and he closed his eyes and made a deep sound of appreciation as Hux pushed all the way in, grabbing and shifting Kylo’s thighs to give himself the best position.

They stayed still for a moment, but Kylo moaned appreciatively as Hux began thrusting, setting a quick pace. Kylo let himself enjoy it, and allowed himself to be as loud as he liked. He couldn’t touch Hux in this position, so he listened instead, to the sound of Hux’s cock thrusting in and out, the sound of their skin slapping together, the chafe as his back and palms and elbows rubbed against stone. Hux was breathing heavily through his nose, but was otherwise silent, either due to stubbornness or habit. Kylo would need to try harder to make Hux moan, and it would be a pleasure.

Eventually, Hux paused, and Kylo could feel his cock throbbing inside him, but he hadn’t yet finished. He cracked an eye to find Hux looking down at him, more confusion on his face.

“How?” he muttered, almost too low to hear.

It was an earnest question, and Kylo knew well what he meant. _How did this happen? How were they doing this? How were they letting this happen?_

Kylo didn’t know any of that. So he laid back and took one of Hux’s hands - the one he’d used to slick himself, the lubed grip hot against Kylo’s thigh - and laid it on his own cock.

“Just jerk me until I come, that’s how.”

It was simple, simpler than what Hux was asking, and Kylo closed his eyes as he heard Hux exhale and he adjusted his position.

With Hux inside him, and his fine, long fingers working Kylo’s cock like an expert - _like Kylo would, exactly how he’d do it himself, amazing_ \- It wasn’t long before Kylo finished, and Hux followed not long after.

They were both breathing heavily, sweating in the heavy heat and humidity in the middle of the long Tafali day. Kylo could feel the sunburn on his shoulders and ears, though Hux was blocking most of it. He had probably baked totally red after less than ten minutes. 

Kylo still believed that the planet of Tafali was the asshole of the galaxy, and never wanted to come back here, but at least something good had come of the visit.

Hux had collapsed onto Kylo’s chest, hot and sweaty and breathless. Kylo had a sudden impulse to hold him close, which he rejected as too intimate. But it was also too hot to hold one another, and he was laying on a rock, so it wouldn’t really be that intimate. And it didn’t matter.

Hux swore as Kylo drew him onto the stone, his sunburned skin rubbing against the rock as Kylo shifted their position so they were both laying more comfortably on the stone surface. Hux’s legs were draped across his thighs, and Kylo’s arm was wrapped around the hot, sunburned skin of his neck and shoulders. Kylo remained on his back, with Hux laying on his side next to him.

Hux struggled weakly, but his eyes remained closed, his face screwing into a look of consternation. “Not this.”

“Why not?”

Hux’s mouth opened, then he closed it. He waited a moment before he said “Too hot.”

“I know I am, thank you.”

Hux groaned, but remained next to him. Kylo shifted to cradle the back of his head in his hand, grinning into his hair and imagining what it would be like to run his fingers through the style, mussing it in an unscheduled supply closet rendezvous, perhaps fresh off whatever mission or training exercise Hux had been so recently complaining of.

Kylo found that he was nearly giddy. 

He’d have this now.


End file.
